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A person’s health is their own responsibility rather than the government’s responsibility. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.3

A person’s health is their own responsibility rather than the government’s responsibility. with this statement? v. 3
Health is an important aspect of a human body. Few claim that the authorities have to take responsibility of their citizen's well-being, but I completely agree that I am responsible for my own health. In the following essay the reasons that support my argument will be discussed. The vital reason for being responsible for our own health is that our daily routines contribute to fit-body. Even if the government sets up camps and sports centre, it depends on the individual's interest to take advantage of it. Those who are not willing to struggle hard and add workouts to their routine, they will eventually fall ill as a consequence of weak muscles or cardio strength. In the year 2019, for instance, a study found that 7 out of 10 people discontinued gym after purchasing an annual subscription. This proves that facilities are worthless if a person is not utilizing them for his benefit. Moreover, eating healthy food is also an individual's choice, meaning that a body requires essential proteins and vitamins to build good immunity, thus, home cooked food must be consumed rather than eating junk food that are proven to be hazardous to human body. The government does not have any control over one's intake, therefore, it is our people that are supposed to take the charge of ourselves. For example, 70% of diabetes patients had a poor diet, which was proved by a research conducted by IBM University. Clearly, those who do not follow proper diet end up in a hospital bed. In conclusion, though the government introduces schemes and benefits, I believe it is up to individuals to choose the right things that enable them to be fitted. Instead of choosing to be lazy and eat junk food, one can do physical activities and consume a nutritious diet that will keep them away from illnesses.
Health is an
important
aspect of a human body.
Few claim
that the authorities
have to
take responsibility of their citizen's well-being,
but
I completely
agree
that I am responsible for my
own
health. In the following essay the reasons that support my argument will
be discussed
.

The vital reason for being responsible for our
own
health is that our daily routines contribute to fit-body. Even if the
government
sets up camps and sports
centre
, it depends on the individual's interest to take advantage of it. Those who are not willing to struggle
hard
and
add
workouts to their routine, they will
eventually
fall ill as a consequence of weak muscles or cardio strength. In the year 2019,
for instance
, a study found that 7 out of 10
people
discontinued gym after purchasing an annual subscription. This proves that facilities are worthless if a person is not utilizing them for his benefit.

Moreover
, eating healthy
food
is
also
an individual's choice, meaning that a body requires essential proteins and vitamins to build
good
immunity,
thus
, home cooked
food
must
be consumed
rather
than eating junk
food
that
are proven
to be hazardous to human body. The
government
does not have any control over one's intake,
therefore
, it is our
people
that
are supposed
to take the charge of ourselves.
For example
, 70% of diabetes patients had a poor diet, which
was proved
by
a research
conducted by IBM University.
Clearly
, those who do not follow proper diet
end
up in a hospital bed.

In conclusion
, though the
government
introduces schemes and benefits, I believe it is up to individuals to choose the right things that enable them to
be fitted
.
Instead
of choosing to be lazy and eat junk
food
, one can do physical activities and consume a nutritious diet that will
keep
them away from illnesses.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay A person’s health is their own responsibility rather than the government’s responsibility. with this statement? v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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