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A person's childhood years (the time from birth to twelve years of age) are the most important years of a person's life. v.2

A person's childhood years (the time from birth to twelve years of age) are the most important years of a person's life. v. 2
As it is wisely said, ' a child tries to behave according to the behaviors that are inculcated in him during his childhood' , I completely agree with the fact that childhood years are the most critical and important for a child to be developed into a responsible person. Early childhood years are the one' s during which a child tries to imitate and act according to the surroundings or behavior of people around him. During early age, child is hardly able to differentiate between moral values and decide independently. It is the parents who try to inculcate about what is wrong and right behavior in their child. For example, if a person is instructed about how he must behave in society and must try to keep his surroundings clean in his childhood itself, tries to keep up with those values when he grows up to be a responsible citizen. Hence, childhood is one of the most important factor that reflects behaviors when a child grows up to become an adult and how he behaves in society. Although, intelligence might be a thing which we might not be able to reflect based on childhood years as some of the children' s just don' t want to study during their initial school years and then, after reaching age above 18, realize their inner potential and try to become competent individuals. But how do peers develop such intelligence into their childrens might be a significant contributor to children' s becoming successful in their latter years. During their early childhood years, children' s try to speak and interact with other people, which is a significant contributor to their vocabulary which they use in their former years to interact with much more knowledge. Childhood years are the most inquisitive one' s, in which children' s try to gain as much knowledge as possible by discovering new things around them. Even though adulthood inculcates some important values such as difference between wrong and right, but values learnt during childhood years are the one' s pushing any given individual to reach a conclusion. Hence, any child' s formative years are the one' s which try to built up a child' s attitude towards others. Hence, I would like to conclude by saying that a person' s childhood years are the one' s which are the most important one' s in order to shape his future.
As it is
wisely
said, ' a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
tries to behave according to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
that
are inculcated
in him during his
Possible spelling mistake found.
childhood&
#039;
Put a space after the comma, but not before the comma
,
I completely
Consider using "agree that".
agree with the fact that
childhood years are the most critical and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to
be developed
into a responsible person.

Early childhood years are the
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s during which a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
tries to imitate and act according to the surroundings or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around him. During early age,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
is hardly able to differentiate between moral values and decide
independently
. It is the parents who try to inculcate about what is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and right
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behavior
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
.
For example
, if a person
is instructed
about how he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
behave in society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
try to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
his surroundings clean in his childhood itself, tries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with those values when he grows up to be a responsible citizen.
Hence
, childhood is one of the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
factor that reflects
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
behaviors
when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
grows up to become an adult and how he behaves in society.

Although, intelligence might be a thing which we might not be able to reflect based on childhood years as
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t want to study during their initial school years and then, after reaching age above 18, realize their inner potential and try to become competent individuals.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
how do peers develop such intelligence into their
Possible spelling mistake found.
childrens
might be a significant contributor to
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s becoming successful in their latter years.

During their early childhood years,
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s try to speak and interact with other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, which is a significant contributor to their vocabulary which they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in their former years to interact with much more knowledge. Childhood years are the most inquisitive
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s, in which
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s try to gain as much knowledge as possible by discovering new things around them.
Even though
adulthood inculcates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
values such as difference between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
and right,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
values
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
during childhood years are the
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s pushing any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
individual to reach a conclusion.
Hence
, any
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s formative years are the
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s which try to built up a
Possible spelling mistake found.
child&
#039; s attitude towards others.

Hence
, I would like
to conclude
by saying that a
Possible spelling mistake found.
person&
#039; s childhood years are the
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s which are the most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
important
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s in order to shape his future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay A person's childhood years (the time from birth to twelve years of age) are the most important years of a person's life. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
399 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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