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Shopping Habits of people mainly depend on the age group they belong to To what extent do you agree or disagree v.2

Shopping Habits of people mainly depend on the age group they belong to v. 2
People of every age group are fond of buying things like clothes, household materials or any property. The modern generation has an extraordinary bucket list of things to buy due to showing a materialistic personality whereas elderly individuals are less interest to buy of things. I accord with this notion that is from young ones to grey people, which leads to their shopping habits. A lot of aspects does matter for individual ones. To begin with, young ones have a special curiosity for buying the toys, different small gadgets and certain games. Adolescents have different choices to purchase such as virtual games, sports games and certainly essential for outdoor and indoor activities. Moving further, adults’ individuals are very keen to get things in terms of clothing, fine-tunes gadgets and certain products. Middle-age people often pay more attention to household things. On the other hand, gender also plays an important role in shopping, so they do not have a similar attitude. Men are more interested in obtaining drugs such as alcohol while women are fond of home decor, crafts and ethnic and western costumes. If we talk about old people, they also have diverse personalities about shopping. In other words, we can say that they can make contact in traditional or religious things and use their spending on spiritual saints. Due to special visual effects, the influence of advertisement on a person' s life has a huge impact. In Conclusion, Maintaining the data of consumers is the source to get information about the habits of shopping of every age of people, Apart from the data source, there could be more factors which leads to spending habits.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
of every age group are fond of buying things like clothes, household materials or any property. The modern generation has an extraordinary bucket list of things to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
due to showing a materialistic personality whereas elderly individuals are less interest to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
of things. I accord with this notion
that is
from young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'grey' is British English.
grey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which leads to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
habits.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
aspects does matter for individual ones.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
have a special curiosity for buying the toys,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
gadgets and certain games. Adolescents have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
choices to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
such as virtual games, sports games and
certainly
essential for outdoor and indoor activities. Moving
further
, adults’ individuals are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
keen to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
things in terms of clothing, fine-tunes gadgets and certain products. Middle-age
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
pay more attention to household things.

On the other hand
, gender
also
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they do not have a similar attitude.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Men
are more interested in obtaining drugs such as alcohol while women are fond of home decor, crafts and ethnic and western costumes. If we talk about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, they
also
have diverse personalities about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
.
In other words
, we can say that they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
contact in traditional or religious things and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their spending on spiritual saints. Due to special visual effects, the influence of advertisement on a
Possible spelling mistake found.
person&
#039; s life has a huge impact.

In Conclusion
, Maintaining the data of consumers is the source to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information about the habits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
of every age of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, Apart from the data source, there could be more factors which leads to spending habits.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
11Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the blood of the soul into which thoughts run and out of which they grow.
Oliver Wendell Holmes

IELTS essay Shopping Habits of people mainly depend on the age group they belong to v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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