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A new law makes it illegal for employers to reject applications based on age. Do you think it is positive or negative? v.1

A new law makes it illegal for employers to reject applications based on age. Do you think it is positive or negative? v. 1
People have different perspectives regarding the existence of historical buildings. While it is believed by some people that historical buildings should be demolished, others think that historic buildings should be demolished, others think that these structures should be protected. In my opinion, should be broken down because of having no usability and high maintenance costs. On the one hand, some people contemplate that the government should take steps to destruct all the historical structures, and I agree. The worth mentioning cause is that more lands will be free that can be used to build houses and industries. In other words, people will get more space for their livelihood. Therefore, a country’s living standard as well as economic condition will rise. For example, the per head income of Madhupur village of Bangladesh has been increased by 20% when the government builds a factory by knocking down a 100 years temple. Another plausible reason is that the maintenance cost of historical buildings is higher than the return of these structures. For instance, the government of India has to pay $20, 000 annually for preserving the old buildings, whereas the return is only $10, 000. Thus, it is not financially viable. On the other hand, people say that the legislative authority should preserve and restore all historical spots. They think that these buildings represent a country’s culture and tradition, which is unique. If it cannot be protected, a country will lose its heritage and uniqueness. For instance, after the destruction of the ‘Bima Tower’ in Comilla, no people go there now and new generations do not know the history of that tower. Another cause is to attract tourists from around the world. This helps to flourish the economy and to arrange local job opportunities. In conclusion, although people have various pint of views about the preservation and restoration of the historic buildings, I think because of the increasing demand for land and the cost of maintenance of these structures, historical buildings should be knocked down.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
perspectives regarding the existence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
. While it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be demolished
, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be demolished
, others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
should
be protected
. In my opinion, should
be broken
down
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of having no usability and high maintenance costs.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
contemplate that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should take steps to destruct all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
, and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
. The worth mentioning cause is that more lands will be free that can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to build
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
and industries. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more space for their livelihood.
Therefore
, a country’s living standard
as well
as economic condition will rise.
For example
, the per head income of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Madhupur
village of Bangladesh has
been increased
by 20% when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
builds a factory by knocking down a 100 years temple. Another plausible reason is that the maintenance cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
is higher than the return of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
.
For instance
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
of India
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
pay $20, 000
annually
for preserving the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
, whereas the return is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
$10, 000.
Thus
, it is not
financially
viable.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that the legislative authority should preserve and restore all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
spots. They
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
represent a country’s culture and tradition, which is unique. If it cannot
be protected
, a country will lose its heritage and uniqueness.
For instance
, after the destruction of the ‘
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bima
Tower’ in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Comilla
, no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
and new generations do not know the history of that tower. Another cause is to attract tourists from around the world. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to flourish the economy and to arrange local job opportunities.

In conclusion
, although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have various pint of views about the preservation and restoration of the historic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the increasing demand for land and the cost of maintenance of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structures
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
historical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
should
be knocked
down.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay A new law makes it illegal for employers to reject applications based on age. Do you think it is positive or negative? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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