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A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that be v.13

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that be v. 13
Globalisation has spread like wild fire in the past 40-50 years. The population has dispersed and people are able to purchase similar products and hence, countries are transforming to become alike. In my opinion, this is a positive development as it can lead to greater global harmony and promote socialisation among different cultures in a foreign nation. First of all, many people from developing countries migrate to developed and rich countries to find work so they can support their families and lead a better life. So, if they are able to find products native to their country in the place they migrated to, it will make their stay comfortable and easy. For instance, for many Indians migrating to Canada for studying or employment purposes, getting food that they desire is a huge problem. However, opening of Indian stores and restaurants has solved this problem and has contributed vastly in making the lives of Indians living there painless and trouble-free. Secondly, it is generally seen that native products are sold at a higher price in foreign countries because of their availability and demand. Nevertheless, this situation is being cleverly eradicated by countries becoming more similar in the kind of products that they sell as the demand is rising, which helps to reduce the increased costs. In addition, more and more people will move to a foreign country if they get hold of the knowledge that they can access products exclusive to their country anywhere and this will further promote population diversity. In conclusion, countries becoming same in the range of articles they sell is a constructive trend as it helps in making the lives of people who migrate, easier and is essential for a diverse population.
Possible spelling mistake. 'Globalisation' is British English.
Globalisation
has spread like
This word is normally spelled as one.
wild fire
in the past 40-50 years. The population has dispersed and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
hence
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are transforming to become alike. In my opinion, this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development as it can lead to greater global harmony and promote
Possible spelling mistake. 'socialisation' is British English.
socialisation
among
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures in a foreign nation.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
migrate to developed and rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to find work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they can support their families and lead a better life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, if they are able to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
native to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
in the place they migrated to, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their stay comfortable and easy.
For instance
, for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Indians migrating to Canada for studying or employment purposes, getting food that they desire is a huge problem.
However
, opening of Indian stores and restaurants has solved this problem and has contributed
vastly
in making the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of Indians living there painless and trouble-free.

Secondly
, it is
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are sold
at a higher price in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their availability and demand.
Nevertheless
, this situation is being
cleverly
eradicated by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
becoming more similar in the kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that they sell as the demand is rising, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the increased costs.
In addition
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
if they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
hold of the knowledge that they can access
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
exclusive to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
anywhere and this will
further
promote population diversity.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
becoming same in the range of articles they sell is a constructive trend as it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in making the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who migrate, easier and is essential for a diverse population.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Do you know what a foreign accent is? It’s a sign of bravery.
Amy Chua

IELTS essay A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that be v. 13

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
285 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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