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A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. v.1

A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. v. 1
It is undeniable true that tourists are the primary element of income for some places. However, mis-management leads to various issues such as degradation of environment and distortion of cultural heritage. This essay will discuss the merits and demerits of tourism in this modern era. Tourism has numerous positives despite the downsides in this sector. Firstly, it promotes cultural exchange among people from different cultures thereby allowing them to meet and understand each other. Therefore, give them the opportunity to respect and foster the cultural diversity. Secondly, it helps in boosting the overall economic growth of the nation as tourists spend lavishly on their vacations thereby improves the GDP of country. Thirdly, service sector which is directly linked to tourism provides various job opportunities for young adults. For instance, a survey conducted in 2017 depicts that the number of jobs in the hilly areas of India rose to 20% because of visitors. Nevertheless, there are many benefits of tourism but there are some disadvantages of the same. The major problem is that people tends to destroy the local architecture and natural habitat of the region by throwing waste products and scribbling over monuments. In addition to this, resorts owners cut down the trees for their profits and to attracts more tourists therefore, degrading the environment. Moreover, at some places tourists spreads illegal activities such as importation of drugs and weed which as a consequences, destroying the peace. To illustrate, the rise in crime at historic places has increased from 25% to 40% due to these practices. In conclusion, tourism catalyses the growth of nation along with generation of employment yet it leads to destruction of natural habitat and heritage sites.
It is undeniable true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
are the primary element of income for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places.
However
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
mis-management
leads to various issues such as degradation of environment and distortion of cultural heritage. This essay will discuss the merits and demerits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
in this modern era.

Tourism has numerous positives despite the downsides in this sector.
Firstly
, it promotes cultural exchange among
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures thereby allowing them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
and understand each other.
Therefore
, give them the opportunity to respect and foster the cultural diversity.
Secondly
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in boosting the
overall
economic growth of the nation as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
spend
lavishly
on their vacations thereby
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the GDP of country.
Thirdly
, service sector which is
directly
linked to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
provides various job opportunities for young adults.
For instance
, a survey conducted in 2017 depicts that the number of jobs in the hilly areas of India rose to 20%
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of visitors.

Nevertheless
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages of the same. The major problem is that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
tends
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the local architecture and natural habitat of the region by throwing waste products and scribbling over monuments.
In addition
to this, resorts owners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the trees for their profits and to attracts more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
therefore
, degrading the environment.
Moreover
, at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
places
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
spreads illegal activities such as importation of drugs and weed which as
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a consequence" or simply "consequences"?
a consequences
, destroying the peace. To illustrate, the rise in crime at historic places has increased from 25% to 40% due to these practices.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
catalyses the growth of nation along with generation of employment
yet
it leads to destruction of natural habitat and heritage sites.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay A lot of places in the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
280 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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