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A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including for food and research. v. 2
Some people argue that animals should not be abused in any way while others believe that they could benefit us in several factors, including research and food. This essay discusses both views and agrees why utilising them correctly will be beneficial to the human world. To commence with, animals should not be used for entertainment and as humans, it is important to respect every living creature. They should not be tortured in the Zoo or circus just to seek the pleasure of the individuals. For instance, people, who are of limited source of income, utilises certain animals like monkeys or elephants in the public zones to make money. People should start respecting the animals by reducing consumption of meat. In western countries, tons of meat are being used daily in restaurants in order to prepare meals. Clearly, the citizens are exploiting animals for entertaining purposes and having more meat. In contrast, I believe wildlife provides a chance to perform research about vaccines and stand as a source of nourishment. Firstly, the world need medication to prevent form viral diseases. Because the doctors want to be sure about vaccination effects, they would test it on certain animals like rats, rabbits before giving it to the humans. This way, they can predict the threat beforehand. Secondly, the fauna is considered to be an origin for nutrition. If people need to be physically strong, they need a fine supplement of nutrients, which can be attained by consumption of seafood animals like fish, crab and prawns. In short, animals are highly functional to test new vaccines and is good to boost our level of nutrition. In conclusion, it is evident that animals do need respect and should not be used for human pleasures. I strongly agree that they can still be helpful to perform research about medications and provide vitamins to maintain our physical strength.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should not
be abused
in any way while others believe that they could benefit us in several factors, including research and food. This essay discusses both views and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
why
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilising' is British English.
utilising
them
correctly
will be beneficial to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
world.

To commence with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for entertainment and as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to respect every living creature. They should not
be tortured
in the Zoo or circus
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
to seek the pleasure of the individuals.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, who are of limited source of income,
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilises' is British English.
utilises
certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like monkeys or elephants in the public zones to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
money.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
respecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
by reducing consumption of meat. In western countries, tons of meat are being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
daily in restaurants in order to prepare meals.
Clearly
, the citizens are exploiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
for entertaining purposes and having more meat.

In contrast
, I believe wildlife provides a chance to perform research about vaccines and stand as a source of nourishment.
Firstly
, the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
medication to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
form viral diseases.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the doctors want to be sure about vaccination effects, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
it on certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like rats, rabbits
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
giving it to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
. This way, they can predict the threat beforehand.
Secondly
, the fauna
is considered
to be an origin for nutrition. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to be
physically
strong, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a fine supplement of nutrients, which can
be attained
by consumption of seafood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
like fish, crab and prawns. In short,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
highly
functional to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
new vaccines and is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to boost our level of nutrition.

In conclusion
, it is evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
respect and should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
pleasures. I
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that they can
still
be helpful to perform research about medications and provide vitamins to maintain our physical strength.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including for food and research. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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