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A growing number of people feel animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both the views and give your opinion v.3

A growing number of people feel animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. 3
There is no doubt that myriads of animals have been used by human beings for different purposes such as for research, food and various other products. While some people believe that there is no harm in doing so, I would argue that such exploitations against animals should be strictly forbidden and they should also have the same right of independence as humans. On the one hand, people who believe in using animals and their by-products for various purposes might argue that it is the necessity because humans and machines are not fit for certain jobs, and therefore, using animals there to their full potential is mandatory. For instance, horses are used to carry carriages because currently we have not invented a machine which can efficiently do such work. Additionally, manpower is completely unfit for this job. To illustrate it further, rats are used for research of some medicines to see its effects on them because the probability of failing in this scenario is more. If a medicine passes this test, it is likely to work on humans. Hence, the use of some animals in some fields is inevitable. On the other hand, I opine that all living beings should be treated equally, whether humans or animals. This is because each living organism has a particular role to play on the Earth, and if an external interference is done in this natural process, it will disturb the whole cycle. For example, if a particular animal such as a lion is killed for its skin, it will lead to the extension of these species, and consequently, the entire food chain will be disrupted, which will give rise to various problems such as an increase in the number of some herbivorous animals, and ultimately there would be scarcity of foods and crops for human beings. Hence, it is best not to touch or exploit any living entity. In conclusion, while some think using animals in fields such as research is indispensable as Science has not made such progressions that it can be replaced by machines or other human beings, I firmly believe that touching natural habitat of animals can cause disturbances to the environment, and therefore should be avoided.
There is no doubt that myriads of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
purposes such as for research, food and various other products. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that there is no harm in doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, I would argue that such
Possible spelling mistake found.
exploitations
against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should be
strictly
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
forbidden and
they should
also
have the same right of independence as humans.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe in using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and their by-products for various purposes might argue that it is the necessity
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and machines are not fit for certain jobs, and
therefore
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
there to their full potential is mandatory.
For instance
, horses are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to carry carriages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
currently
we have not invented a machine which can
efficiently
do such work.
Additionally
, manpower is completely unfit for this job. To illustrate it
further
, rats are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for research of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
medicines to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
its effects on them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the probability of failing in this scenario is more. If a medicine passes this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
, it is likely to work on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
.
Hence
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
fields is inevitable.

On the other hand
, I opine that all living beings should
be treated
equally
, whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
each living organism has a particular role to play on the Earth, and if an external interference
is done
in this natural process, it will disturb the whole cycle.
For example
, if a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animal
such as a lion
is killed
for its skin, it will lead to the extension of these species, and
consequently
, the entire food chain will
be disrupted
, which will give rise to various problems such as an increase in the number of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
herbivorous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
, and
ultimately
there would be scarcity of foods and crops for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings.
Hence
, it is best not to touch or exploit any living entity.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
in fields such as research is indispensable as Science has not made such progressions that it can
be replaced
by machines or other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
beings, I
firmly
believe that touching natural habitat of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
can cause disturbances to the environment, and
therefore
should
be avoided
.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay A growing number of people feel animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
366 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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