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A government’s role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure (roads, water supplies, etc. ). All other services (education, health, social security) should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community.

A government's role is only to provide defense capability and urban infrastructure, such as roads, water and power. All other services, such as education, health and social security, should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community. v. 2
Some people believe that the only responsibilities government have is to provide basic needs services to the citizens. Whereas, other responsibilities like education and health care services shuold be provided by private groups or individuals. The reasons below will explain the both arguments. To begin with, there is more then enough funds government have in order to provide the basic needs to the local citizens of the country. For instance, government collect the taxes from the native people annually by promising them to provide the best basic needs and the improvement of their country. So clearly it can be understood that government can pay for basic needs like electricity, water supplies. As well as, government can help natives in other fields like health care and a limited education. On the other hand, if people will spend on these kind of needs in private companies then this will be a big loss of tax government could ever face. Futuermore, depending on private groups for medical needs amd for education can create a big problem to the middle class and poor locality of the country. For example, private companies owners will develop the hospitals and educational plots for commercial purposes. Which middle or poor class citizens may not afford. This example shows that giving the full responsibilities to the private or individuals companies can destroy the lives of underserved people of the society. In the end result of this argument, I believe that government shuold provide the required services until some stage so that it could help the citizens as well as to the democracy of the country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "responsibilities'" or "responsibility's"?
responsibilities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
have is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
services to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
. Whereas, other responsibilities like education and health care services
Possible spelling mistake found.
shuold
be provided
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
groups or individuals. The reasons below will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the both arguments. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there is more
Comparison requires "than", not 'then' nor 'as'.
then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
funds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
have in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
to the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
collect the taxes from the native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
annually
by promising them to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
and the improvement of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
clearly
it can
be understood
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can pay for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
like electricity, water supplies.
As well
as,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
natives in other fields like health care and a limited education.
On the other hand
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will spend on
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
then this will be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
loss of tax
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
could ever face.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futuermore
, depending on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
groups for medical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
Possible spelling mistake found.
amd
for education can create a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem to the middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and poor locality of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
owners will develop the hospitals and educational plots for commercial purposes. Which middle or poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
may not afford. This example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that giving the full responsibilities to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
or individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of underserved
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the society. In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
result of this argument, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
Possible spelling mistake found.
shuold
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
the required services until
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
citizens
as well
as to the democracy of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.

IELTS essay A government’s role is only to provide defence capability and urban infrastructure (roads, water supplies, etc. ). All other services (education, health, social security) should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
266 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • A government's role is only to provide defense capability and urban infrastructure, such as roads, water and power. All other services, such as education, health and social security, should be provided by private groups or individuals in the community. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2