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A Gift (such As A Camera, A Soccer Ball Or An Animal) Can Contribute To A Child`s Development. What Gift Would You Give To Help A Child Develop? Why? Use Reasons And Specific Examples To Support Your Choice. v.5

A Gift (such As A Camera, A Soccer Ball Or An Animal) Can Contribute To A Child`s Development. What Gift Would You Give To Help A Child Develop? Why? Use Reasons And Specific Examples To Support Your Choice. v. 5
In the modernization and globalization world, there are several gifts like toys, books, a basketball, a dog etc. are available, which may assist in a child’s better development. Being a part of this competitive world, I would like to offer a computer as a gift, which may help a child in many ways. I would like to discuss few reasons behind my selection. The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that with the help of a computer, a child’s leaning efficiency will increase. He/ she will discover new ways of gaining knowledge. By playing video games in a computer, a kid’s ability to focus on a goal is enhanced. In order to finish a puzzle, he needs to do brainwash, hence, increasing ability to think more about the solution. Nowadays. A game like Candy Crush Saga asks players to work in-group, so children learn to make a group network and work as a team, which teaches them several skills like social skills and coordination. Children can make new friends all over the world and exchange information with them. Another reason that deserves some words is that a computer is the best study aid. Indeed, in a modern school, our offspring get new tasks as a project work. With the help of a computer, students work very efficiently. The advent of internet assist them in searching information online, they learn more information in a small duration. By becoming more advance, kids become more creative with new ideas. For instance, when my four years old son gets any project in school, he finds new concepts from DIY project on YouTube. Recently on Halloween, he carved pumpkin in shape of famous cartoon character Olaf. He won a prize for that in his school competitive. He learnt to think out of the box. Additionally, several different features in a computer like Microsoft Excel, World and painting app motivates to do beyond their imagination. Thus, a kid become more knowledgeable. Last but not the least, to get up to date knowledge, a computer is the best gadget. With the different webpages like USA today and CNN, children learn to get news from all parts of the world. By sitting home, with the help of a computer, they can explore different places and can gather information about other country’s costume, culture, food, animals etc. In the fast growing world, it is a very immense for a child to learn about new innovations and researches. If a child does not get information, he/she may fall behind from his/her peers. Learning a computer may help him to become mature more compared to other kids, who do not use a computer. To become a successful person, an ability to operate a computer is a very crucial in this diverse society. In the conclusion, a computer is the best gift, which would aid a kid’s mental growth by providing tremendous amount of information and by helping in a school project.
In the modernization and globalization
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, there are several gifts like toys, books, a basketball, a dog etc. are available, which may assist in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
better development. Being a part of this competitive
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, I would like to offer a computer as a gift, which may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways. I would like to discuss few reasons behind my selection.

The
first
exquisite point to
be mentioned
is that with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of a computer, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child’s
leaning efficiency will increase. He/ she will discover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
ways of gaining knowledge. By playing video games in a computer, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid’s
ability to focus on a goal
is enhanced
. In order to finish a puzzle, he needs to do brainwash,
hence
, increasing ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
more about the solution. Nowadays. A game like Candy Crush Saga asks players to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in-group,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a group network and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as a team, which teaches them several
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
like
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
social


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
skills
and coordination. Children can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
friends all over the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
and exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with them.

Another reason that deserves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words is that a computer is the best study aid.
Indeed
, in a modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, our offspring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
tasks as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
. With the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of a computer, students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
efficiently
. The advent of internet assist them in searching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
online, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
duration. By becoming more advance,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more creative with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
For instance
, when my four years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
son
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, he finds
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
concepts from DIY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
on YouTube. Recently on Halloween, he carved pumpkin in shape of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
cartoon character Olaf. He won a prize for that in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
competitive. He
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
out of the box.
Additionally
, several
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
features in a computer like Microsoft Excel,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
World
and painting app motivates to do beyond their imagination.
Thus
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more knowledgeable.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
up to date knowledge, a computer is the best gadget. With the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake found.
webpages
like USA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and CNN, children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
from all parts of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. By sitting home, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of a computer, they can explore
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
places and can gather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about other country’s costume, culture, food, animals etc. In the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
growing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
immense for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
innovations and researches. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
child
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
, he/she may fall behind from his/her peers. Learning a computer may
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
him to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
mature more compared to other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
, who do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a computer. To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
a successful person, an ability to operate a computer is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
crucial in this diverse society.

In the conclusion, a computer is the best gift, which would aid a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid’s
mental growth by providing tremendous amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and by helping in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
54Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay A Gift (such As A Camera, A Soccer Ball Or An Animal) Can Contribute To A Child`s Development. What Gift Would You Give To Help A Child Develop? Why? Use Reasons And Specific Examples To Support Your Choice. v. 5

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
491 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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