Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

A friend is staying in your flat in your absence. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter* Tell him where he/she can find the key. * Ask him to look after something important. *Instruct him on what to do on your day of return. v.1

A friend is staying in your flat in your absence. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter* Tell him where he/she can find the key. * Ask him to look after something important. *Instruct him on what to do on your day of return. v. 1
In present times, several societies have witnessed an upsurge of young adults than the number of older people. Certainly, the advantages outweighs the disadvantages, this is owing to the fact that, the younger populace comprises of the active population, thus, productivity, economic growth and political stability rely basically on them. Admittedly, having a more of the older generation in a country evidently portrays that the nation has better health care programs and a robust retirement plan. As a result, the senior citizen now accounts for a larger percentage of the populace. A Nation’s standard of living can be determined by the percentile of older adults in the masses. Additionally, this also posits that the quality of life in these countries is quite impressive. This easy access to a doctor, health facility and basic retirement program is of utmost importance to the government. For instance, in Switzerland, the number of older adults is more than the youths and they have a record breaking provision for the senior citizen. On the other hand, the upsurge in the number of younger generation of any populace is of major importance. Firstly, they consist mainly of the active population of an economy, the working class and business tycoons as well as the taxpayers are within this divide of the Nation. The increase of any economy relies at least of 80% of the active adult. Furthermore, the productivity of a Nation cannot be effective if the effort of the youths is discounted. A good example, in the US where 65% of the population comprises of the active generation. In conclusion, despite the need to care for the senior citizens, Countries should make a conscious effort to improve the quality of the people in it. Of utmost importance is the fact that the masses should comprise mainly of the active sector of the society because they are responsible for economic growth, productivity as well as political involvement. A good example of this is the present day France, where President Macron was elected the youngest President in 39 and have proven to be a good decision, intellectually matching President Trump of America at bilateral meetings. Worthy of note, is the fact that Countries of the World rely majorly on the proactive citizen for the uplift-meant of the economy and polity of any nation than their older counterpart who will probably be in a hospital battling ailments associated with the aged.
In present times, several societies have witnessed an upsurge of young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
than the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Certainly
, the advantages outweighs the disadvantages, this is owing to the fact that, the younger populace
Did you mean "comprises" or "consists of"?
comprises of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
population,
thus
, productivity, economic growth and political stability rely
basically
on them.

Admittedly
, having a more of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
generation in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
evidently
portrays that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
has better health care programs and a robust retirement plan.
As a result
, the senior citizen
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
accounts for a larger percentage of the populace. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nation’s
standard of living can
be determined
by the percentile of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
in the masses.
Additionally
, this
also
posits that the quality of life in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is quite impressive. This easy access to a doctor, health facility and basic retirement program is of utmost importance to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.
For instance
, in Switzerland, the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
is more than the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
youths and
they have a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
record breaking
provision for the senior citizen.

On the other hand
, the upsurge in the number of younger generation of any populace is of major importance.
Firstly
, they consist
mainly
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
population of an economy, the working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
and business tycoons
as well
as the taxpayers are within this divide of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nation
. The increase of any economy
The verb 'to rely' requires the preposition '(up)on': "relies on".
relies
at least of 80% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
adult.
Furthermore
, the productivity of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nation
cannot be effective if the effort of the youths
is discounted
. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example, in the US where 65% of the population
Did you mean "comprises" or "consists of"?
comprises of
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
generation.

In conclusion
, despite the need to care for the senior citizens,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a conscious effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in it. Of utmost importance is the fact that the masses should comprise
mainly
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
active
sector of the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are responsible for economic growth, productivity
as well
as political involvement. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this is the present day France, where President Macron
was elected
the youngest President in 39 and have proven to be a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
decision,
intellectually
matching President Trump of America at bilateral meetings. Worthy of note, is the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Countries
of the World rely
majorly
on the proactive citizen for the uplift-meant of the economy and polity of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
than their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
counterpart who will
probably
be in a hospital battling ailments associated with the aged.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay A friend is staying in your flat in your absence. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter* Tell him where he/she can find the key. * Ask him to look after something important. *Instruct him on what to do on your day of return. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
402 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts