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Essay Question: Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree? v.1

Essay Question: Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 1
People migrating from one place to an another have escalated tremendously in the recent years. Many people move from the remote places to the tier 1 cities to mount the standard of living, and have a secure future. This essay will highlight some major foundations of such trend, and various issues occurring because of it. To begin with, the masses are advancing into urban areas seeking for expanding the employment opportunities. They choose to work in such places to obtain a higher revenue, and gain more experience from the renowned figures of respective fields. Furthermore, better and advanced facilities are an another basis for the people to shift to the developed areas. In other words, be it educational, health related or transportation, cities provide individuals with varieties of options to choose from, and are incorporated with the latest technology. To cite an example, 70% of villagers are proceeding to such places to provide a good education for their children so that they could have a fruitful life later on. Provided that, most people migrate to such places for better opportunities and the facilities. Nevertheless, such movements might result in numerous problems such as overpopulation and mounting the pollution of the urban places. Firstly more people migrating means the place will be severely populated, as well as the housing requirements will be skyrocketing. Also the pollution will rise considerably in a locality producing detrimental health effects on the people’s life. Increasing the number of people leads to an extra rubbish from the household, and mismanagement of such waste will cause several health issues such as bacterial or fungal infections, etc. For instance, in India 80% of the people are migrating to the capital city, Delhi, and the city recently was acknowledged as one of the polluted place in the world. The government is trying its best to reduce this issue, and are establishing various factories and organizations in the rural areas for the people to move to such places. In conclusion, such movements should be curbed by establishing different businesses in the remote areas, and also anticipating various facilities so that the people won’t think of migrating to other developed places. It is the responsibility of the government to look after such problems and tackle them effortlessly and quickly.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrating
from one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
One of these determiners is redundant in this context. Choose only one: "a have" or "another have".
an another have
escalated
tremendously
in the recent years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from the remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to the tier 1
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
to mount the standard of living, and have a secure future. This essay will highlight
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
major foundations of such trend, and various issues occurring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of it.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the masses are advancing into urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
seeking for expanding the employment opportunities. They choose to work in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to obtain a higher revenue, and gain more experience from the renowned figures of respective fields.
Furthermore
, better and advanced facilities are
One of these determiners is redundant in this context. Choose only one: "a basis" or "another basis".
an another basis
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to shift to the developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
In other words
, be it educational, health related or transportation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cities
provide individuals with varieties of options to choose from, and
are incorporated
with the latest technology. To cite an example, 70% of villagers are proceeding to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
to provide a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education for their children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they could have a fruitful life later on. Provided that, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate to such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
for better opportunities and the facilities.

Nevertheless
, such movements might result in numerous problems such as overpopulation and mounting the pollution of the urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
.
Firstly
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrating
means the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
will be
severely
populated,
as well
as the housing requirements will be skyrocketing.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the pollution will rise
considerably
in a locality producing detrimental health effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
life. Increasing the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
leads to an extra rubbish from the household, and mismanagement of such waste will cause several health issues such as bacterial or fungal infections, etc.
For instance
, in India 80% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrating
to the capital city, Delhi, and the city recently
was acknowledged
as one of the polluted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
in the world. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
is trying its best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
this issue, and are establishing various factories and organizations in the rural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to such places.

In conclusion
, such movements should
be curbed
by establishing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
businesses in the remote
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, and
also
anticipating various facilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
won’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
migrating
to other developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
places
. It is the responsibility of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to look after such problems and tackle them
effortlessly
and
quickly
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Essay Question: Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
378 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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