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855 second describe a place with animalsyou should saywhere it ishow you heard of itwhat animals can be seenand explain why it might be an interesting place to visit. v.1

855 second describe a place with animalsyou should saywhere it ishow you heard of itwhat animals can be seenand explain why it might be an interesting place to visit. v. 1
It seems to be the case that in many countries, companies are concentrating on profits and are neglecting the welfare of their staff. A range of examples will be presented to support this position and some possible improvements offered. This will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs. Globalized world trade is controlled by simple economic realities-making the biggest profits at the smallest expense. How is this being achieved? During the last twenty years, many manufacturing companies in the USA and Europe have moved their factories to economies like China, Mexico, and Thailand which have lower labour costs. Service industries in wealthier countries have been able to use low-interest rates, weaker trade unions, and the rising unemployment rates to keep wages and conditions from improving rapidly. In education, there are other examples of business style factories and worsening conditions for staff. Many universities employ more academic staff on short contracts, releasing themselves from making expensive pension provisions or offering other long-term benefits. Workers are forced to re-apply for their own jobs every few years. A sense of loyalty is not promoted by such processes. To change the situation requires a major shift in attitudes. It is difficult to see how this might be achieved, as the governments embrace more and more the laissez-faire approach of global economies. The only possible source of change must come from the companies themselves. They need to see their employees as members of a family not as costly units of labour. They should collaborate with worker’s groups to build a good level of pension protection and health care. A worker who trusts that his employer trying to protect his interests is a better worker. A companies still need loyalty and continuity. In conclusion, without major changes in management philosophy, the future looks like becoming tougher and more stressful for many workers, especially those from the next generation, whose hopes need to be nurtured, not dashed.
It seems to be the case that in
many
countries,
companies
are concentrating on profits and are neglecting the welfare of their staff. A range of examples will
be presented
to support this position and
some
possible improvements offered. This will
be discussed
in the upcoming paragraphs.

Globalized world trade
is controlled
by simple economic realities-making the biggest profits at the smallest expense. How is this
being achieved
? During the last twenty years,
many
manufacturing
companies
in the USA and Europe have
moved
their factories to economies like China, Mexico, and Thailand which have lower
labour
costs. Service industries in wealthier countries have been able to
use
low-interest rates, weaker trade unions, and the rising unemployment rates to
keep
wages and conditions from improving
rapidly
.

In education, there are other examples of business style factories and worsening conditions for staff.
Many
universities employ more academic staff on short contracts, releasing themselves from making expensive pension provisions or offering other long-term benefits.
Workers
are forced
to re-apply for their
own
jobs every few years. A sense of loyalty is not promoted by such processes.

To
change
the situation requires a major shift in attitudes. It is difficult to
see
how this might
be achieved
, as the
governments
embrace more and more the laissez-faire approach of global economies. The
only
possible source of
change
must
come
from the
companies
themselves. They need to
see
their employees as members of a family not as costly units of
labour
. They should collaborate with
worker’s
groups to build a
good
level of pension protection and health care. A
worker
who trusts that his employer trying to protect his interests is a better
worker
. A
companies
still
need loyalty and continuity.

In conclusion
, without major
changes
in management philosophy, the future looks like becoming tougher and more stressful for
many
workers
,
especially
those from the
next
generation, whose hopes need to
be nurtured
, not dashed.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 855 second describe a place with animalsyou should saywhere it ishow you heard of itwhat animals can be seenand explain why it might be an interesting place to visit. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
319 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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