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82. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made the world a better place to live. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.2

82. Technology has made the world a better place to live. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 2
No one can deny that there are both positive and negative aspects about technology, and how it has made the world a better place to live. If I were forced to choose, I would definitely agree with the idea that it has made world a better place. It is my firm belief for a number of reasons, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs. First and foremost, it has made life easier. Starts from medicine, and ends from army. Today’s life is much easier than it was approximately twenty years ago. Life is such a piece of cake today, but with those good conditions, the number of coach potatoes has increased and partially it is bad for our society. I have to admit that my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by my own personal experience. You see, my parents bought a smart house, which is the most famous invention of las decade. In the beginning I thought that it is kind of toy and it seemed me ludicrous. But after first time that I used it, I felt that it will become one of my lovely devices. It is very simple in use, for instance when I am in the road of home, with the device in my hand I switch on the electrical kettle, and it is boiling before my coming. As a result I have a hot tea just before I am at home. For this reason I think that technology is the most important machine which spins world. Secondly, technology gives you a chance to connect with the person you want. Twenty years ago, people communicate through countries by public telephones, which were expensive. But now there are many applications which help you to contact with a person among continents. Drawing from my own experience when we bought a first personal computer, I downloaded the Skype, which helps to take video calls for free. Since then we can communicate when we want with my uncle who is in the Netherlands. Moreover we can send photos and mediafiles. It is certainly clear to see how the technologies have made the world a better place to live. To make a long story short, in light of above mentioned reasons I strongly believe that today’s world is better place to live, and this is because of technology which solved many hard questions.
No one can deny that there are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
, and how it has made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
. If I
were forced
to choose, I would definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that it has made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
. It is my firm belief for a number of reasons, and I will develop these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in the subsequent paragraphs.

First
and foremost, it has made life easier.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Starts
from medicine, and ends from army.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
’s life is much easier than it was approximately twenty years ago. Life is such a piece of cake
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
conditions, the number of coach potatoes has increased and
partially
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for our society. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit that my opinion on this matter has been
profoundly
influenced by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal experience. You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, my parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a smart
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
, which is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
invention of
Possible spelling mistake found.
las
decade. In the beginning I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that it is kind of toy and it seemed me ludicrous.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
after
first
time that I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
it, I felt that it will become one of my lovely devices. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
simple in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
,
for instance
when I am in the road of home, with the device in my hand I switch on the electrical kettle, and it is boiling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
my coming.
As a result
I have a hot tea
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
I am at home.
For this reason
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
machine which spins world.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
gives you a chance to connect with the person you want. Twenty years ago,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
communicate through countries by public telephones, which were expensive.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
applications which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to contact with a person among continents. Drawing from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a
first
personal computer, I downloaded the Skype, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to take video calls for free. Since
The comma is probably missing here: "then, we".
then we
can communicate when we want with my uncle who is in the Netherlands.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
photos and
Possible spelling mistake found.
mediafiles
. It is
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technologies
have made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a long story short, in light of above mentioned reasons I
strongly
believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
, and this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
which solved
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
questions.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay 82. Technology has made the world a better place to live. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
398 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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