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82. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made the world a better place to live. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v.1

82. Technology has made the world a better place to live. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 1
While there are grounds to argue that making teenagers as a volunteer and unpaid work would be a great assistant for them and the society, it can similarly be argued that working unpaid of young peoples, would be an infringement of their justices. In this essay, I shall examine the merits both sides of the debates. One argument is that working young people on voluntary works would help the community to improve. It is vivid that these days, the society suffers from lack of workforce and teenagers working would direct effect on the shortage of the labour in public workplaces. For instance, by recruit teenagers as a volunteer in the health sector, not only the young person would benefit from being in such a workplace and find his or her potency of future career, but also the society would fulfil its job vacancies and the absences of labour in some general work. Another argument in which there is a prominent merit for teenagers individually is that through working they could find a sense of responsibility that is worthy of their future. At present, teenagers spend much of their spare time, playing football or online games, whereas going out to work, particularly as a volunteer will teach them social skills such as team working, leadership and critical management. Therefore, through these skills they are more likely to be successful in their future professional career. Despite those arguments, there is an equally strong case to be made that it would be morally wrong if teenagers work during their childhood, especially if they did not earn a salary. This explained by the fact that in recent years there has been a global movement to stop the practice of child labour. The principal philosophy of this movement is that, teenage years are just the time for education and playing and so working at that time, is justifiably and morally wrong and it could be possible that the young people would exposed to be exploited by employers in workplaces. To sum up, I personally believe that teenagers and the society, both are likely to benefit from working at their teenage time. Although, the situation will be compounded by the fact that they would not earn any payments and the danger of being exploited even is existing.
While there are grounds to argue that making
teenagers
as a volunteer and unpaid
work
would be a great assistant for them and the
society
, it can
similarly
be argued
that
working
unpaid of
young
peoples, would be an infringement of their justices. In this essay, I shall examine the merits both sides of the debates.

One argument is that
working
young
people
on voluntary works would
help
the community to
improve
. It is vivid that these days, the
society
suffers from lack of workforce and
teenagers
working
would direct effect on the shortage of the
labour
in public workplaces.
For instance
, by recruit
teenagers
as a volunteer in the health sector, not
only
the
young
person would benefit from being in such a workplace and find
his or her
potency of future career,
but
also
the
society
would fulfil its job vacancies and the absences of
labour
in
some
general work.

Another argument in which there is a prominent merit for
teenagers
individually
is that through
working
they could find a sense of responsibility
that is
worthy of their future. At present,
teenagers
spend much of their spare
time
, playing football or online games, whereas going out to
work
,
particularly
as a volunteer will teach them social
skills
such as team
working
, leadership and critical management.
Therefore
, through these
skills
they are more likely to be successful in their future professional career.

Despite those arguments, there is an
equally
strong case to
be made
that it would be
morally
wrong
if
teenagers
work
during their childhood,
especially
if they did not earn a salary. This
explained
by the fact that in recent years there has been a global movement to
stop
the practice of child
labour
. The principal philosophy of this movement is that, teenage years are
just
the
time
for education and playing and
so
working
at that
time
, is
justifiably
and
morally
wrong
and it could be possible that the
young
people
would
exposed
to
be exploited
by employers in workplaces.

To sum up, I
personally
believe that
teenagers
and the
society
, both are likely to benefit from
working
at their teenage
time
. Although, the situation will
be compounded
by the fact that they would not earn any payments and the
danger
of
being exploited
even is existing.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 82. Technology has made the world a better place to live. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
381 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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