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8. I. In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is thus necessary for the government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree and disagree with this opinion? v.1

8. I. In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is thus necessary for the government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 1
Nowadays there is a growing tendency of health problems among the general people due to over-consumption of ready made junk foods. Some people believe that to tackle these health-related issues, the higher tax should be imposed on these foods by the government to make it costly. I think this is a wrong approach because this is not the only reason for health problems, and this may force people to find alternative ways which may prove equally harmful to our health. Firstly, the imposition of a tax upon fast food in an intention to reduce health issues, for example, obesity, tiredness, heart disease, will be proved ineffective as other factors are contributing to these health-related problems. In other words, apart from the negative impact of fast food, a person may also face health issues due to lack of proper physical exercise, having imbalanced diets or excessive body weight. As a result, restricting consumption of fast food by imposing increased tax alone is not sufficient to prevent health problems. The government needs to take a comprehensive step to tackle this problem. Another important consideration because of a higher tax on fast food is that it compels people to shift their choice to food alternative to the fast-food that is equally harmful as fast food. Even sometimes home-cooked food which is considered most hygienic and healthy is not produced in a way that is not as healthy and safe as it should be. For instance, I personally know a family who is accustomed to using excessive oil and condiments while cooking and take a large amount of red meat which is full of excessive fat in their everyday meal. As a result, all the members of the family are obese. Thus, it is clear that taxing fast food is not an effective option to curb health issues. To conclude, levy higher tax on fast food to discourage people from having such food is not a viable option to control obesity and other health-related problems.
Nowadays there is a growing tendency of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
among the general
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to over-consumption of
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
ready made
junk
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that to tackle these health-related issues, the higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
should
be imposed
on these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it costly. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
approach
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, and this may force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to find alternative ways which may prove
equally
harmful to our health.

Firstly
, the imposition of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
upon
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in an intention to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues,
for example
, obesity, tiredness, heart disease, will
be proved
ineffective as other factors are contributing to these health-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
In other words
, apart from the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, a person may
also
face
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues due to lack of proper physical exercise, having imbalanced diets or excessive body weight.
As a result
, restricting consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by imposing increased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
alone is not sufficient to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
needs to take a comprehensive step to tackle this problem.

Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
consideration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of a higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is that it compels
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to shift their choice to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
alternative to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food
that is
equally
harmful as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
. Even
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
home-cooked
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
which
is considered
most hygienic and healthy is not produced in a way
that is
not as healthy and safe as it should be.
For instance
, I
personally
know a family who
is accustomed
to using excessive oil and condiments while cooking and take a large amount of red meat which is full of excessive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fat
in their everyday meal.
As a result
, all the members of the family are obese.
Thus
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that taxing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is not an effective option to curb
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
issues.

To conclude
, levy higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tax
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fast
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to discourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from having such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
is not a viable option to control obesity and other health-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay 8. I. In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is thus necessary for the government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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