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64. In case of problems, some prefer to get advice from family and friends. Others prefer to learn through personal experience. Which method is betterand why? v.1

64. In case of problems, some prefer to get advice from family and friends. Others prefer to learn through personal experience. Which method is betterand why? v. 1
It is argued that the development in online shopping will lead to closure of traditional shops. This essay completely agrees with the statement and believes that the trend of online shopping is on a continuous rise. This essay will firstly discuss about the ease of customers in virtual shopping and secondly, the satisfaction in terms of security to the online users. With the advancement of technology, everything is now available at one click. The trend towards digital purchases is growing day by day. One reason for this increase is ease of purchase. The online shopping facilitates the consumer to make a choice by comparing multiple options available. Ali Express is the famous Chinese online store, from where you can buy anything online. The products are categorized according to their segment, price and material, making the overall shopping experience user-friendly. Moreover, the online stores also provide the security and money back guarantee. The items purchased online are delivered to the customer’s mailing address at specified time period with complete security. Further to this, in case of misplacement of a package the seller is responsible for full refund to the customer. For example, Amazon, E-bay offers 100 % money back guarantee in case of loss of the package. The shopper can also track their package online to confirm the delivery status. So, he has minimal risk while purchasing the product online. In conclusion, advancement in technology will continue to provide more facilities to the people, including ease in purchasing products through virtual platforms which will eventually result in the closure of conventional shops.
It
is argued
that the development in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
will lead to closure of traditional shops. This essay completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
with the statement and believes that the trend of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
is on a continuous rise. This essay will
firstly
Did you mean simply "discuss the"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of customers in virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
and
secondly
, the satisfaction in terms of security to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
users.

With the advancement of technology, everything is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
available at one click. The trend towards digital
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
is growing day by day. One reason for this increase is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
facilitates the consumer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a choice by comparing multiple options available. Ali Express is the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Chinese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
store, from where you can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
anything
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
. The products
are categorized
according to their segment, price and material, making the
overall
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shopping
experience user-friendly.

Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
stores
also
provide the security and money back guarantee. The items
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
are delivered
to the customer’s mailing address at specified time period with complete security.
Further
to this, in case of misplacement of a package the seller is responsible for full refund to the customer.
For example
, Amazon, E-bay offers 100 % money back guarantee in case of loss of the package. The shopper can
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
their package
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
to confirm the delivery status.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, he has minimal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
while purchasing the product online.

In conclusion
, advancement in technology will continue to provide more facilities to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, including
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
in purchasing products through virtual platforms which will
eventually
result in the closure of conventional shops.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The joy of knowing a foreign language is inexpressible. I find it really difficult to express such joy in my mother tongue.
Munia Khan

IELTS essay 64. In case of problems, some prefer to get advice from family and friends. Others prefer to learn through personal experience. Which method is betterand why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
261 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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