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6. A. The popularity of news media often has significant influence on people’s lives. Some people believe this to be a negative development. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

6. A. The popularity of news media often has significant influence on people’s lives. Some people believe this to be a negative development. v. 1
Since the invention of modern media, news feeds have become an increasingly invasive force in the lives of all human beings. However, it is disagreed that the development of news media is negative. This will be shown by looking at how news media encourages both awareness and transparency within the world. Firstly, modern media sources have made great inroads in the spreading of knowledge around the word. For example, the Internet allowed (and continues to allow) the world to witness the uprisings of the Arab Spring. Social media here act as a driving force behind this revolution. Had these images not been made available to a scrutinizing global audience, it was possible that the entire phenomenon could have cost many more lives than it did. As this example shows, modern news media allows the human families to keep watch of each other and provide aid if it is needed. In addition to this, news media sources have put an immense effort to investigate and publish news regarding corruption in different sectors that helps to tackle corruption and ensure transparency and accountability the world over. Take the tragic high-speed train crash in China as an example. Despite trying to quickly bury the carriages involved, the Chinese government was forced by the media to admit that serious corruption problems had plagued the project from the beginning. The healthy dialogues that the media coverage of this unfortunate event sparked will hopefully continue to encourage integrity within the Chinese government. It is for reasons such as this that news media should be thought of as a positive entity in the world. To conclude, after looking at how news media helps to develop awareness and transparency, its benefits can clearly be seen. It is hoped free press will continue to grow with the help of technology and modern tools.
Since the invention of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
feeds have become an
increasingly
invasive force in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of all human beings.
However
, it
is disagreed
that the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
. This will
be shown
by looking at how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
encourages both awareness and transparency within the world.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
sources have made great inroads in the spreading of knowledge around the word.
For example
, the Internet
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
(and continues to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
) the world to witness the uprisings of the Arab Spring. Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
here act as a driving force behind this revolution. Had these images not
been made
available to a scrutinizing global audience, it was possible that the entire phenomenon could have cost
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
than it did. As this example
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
the human families to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
of each other and provide aid if it
is needed
.

In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
sources have put an immense effort to investigate and publish
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
regarding corruption in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sectors that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to tackle corruption and ensure transparency and accountability the world over. Take the tragic high-speed train crash in China as an example. Despite trying to
quickly
bury the carriages involved, the Chinese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
was forced
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
to admit that serious corruption problems had plagued the project from the beginning. The healthy dialogues that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
coverage of this unfortunate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
sparked will
hopefully
continue to encourage integrity within the Chinese
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. It is for reasons such as this that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of as a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
entity in the world.

To conclude
, after looking at how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to develop awareness and transparency, its benefits can
clearly
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
. It
is hoped
free press will continue to grow with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of technology and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
tools.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay 6. A. The popularity of news media often has significant influence on people’s lives. Some people believe this to be a negative development. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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