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5)Some people believe that the best way to succeed is to set goals and work hard to achieve them. Other people think that hard work is not as important as good luck. Which point of view do you think is true and why? v.1

5)Some people believe that the best way to succeed is to set goals and work hard to achieve them. Other people think that hard work is not as important as good luck. Which point of view do you think is true and why? v. 1
There are several workplaces where using a uniform is an obligation. While wearing the same clothes every day can be less stressful, I believe that a worker should have the opportunity to dress up what is his desire. The main advantage of using similar clothes for each day of work is because it will lead to lower levels of stress. Not only because the employee will not have to worry about mix and match clothes daily but also there is not the risk of being judged in terms of his clothes' taste. For example, from my personal experience, at work, I must use a uniform and I realized that my stress level decrease due to the fact that I did not need to overthink about what I will wear for that workday. However, I believe that do not have the opportunity to choose what to dress will interfere with what we are and what we want to convey to the world. One of the disadvantages of wearing stipulated clothes is that a person cannot express his way of thinking and living. If an individual is really creative and likes to express himself and his personality putting certain clothes on, He should have that right. As a result, He will feel that has the power in choosing how to introduce himself to other people. For example, The Guardian has conducted a study which revealed that people choose their clothes as a way to express what they are feeling and what they pretend to transmit to others. Therefore, I believe that regardless of our job we ought to be the right to choose what we desire to put on, taking into account our personality. In conclusion, although using a uniform is more practical, leading to less stress, it is my opinion that all workers should decide what to wear as a form of expressing their personalities.
There are several workplaces where using a uniform is an obligation. While wearing the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
every day can be less stressful, I believe that a worker should have the opportunity to dress up what is his desire.

The main advantage of using similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
for each day of work is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it will lead to lower levels of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the employee will not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
worry about mix and match
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
daily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
there is not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
being judged
in terms of his clothes' taste.
For example
, from my personal experience, at work, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
a uniform and I realized that my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level decrease due to the fact that I did not need to overthink about what I will wear for that workday.
However
, I believe that do not have the opportunity to choose what to dress will interfere with what we are and what we want to convey to the world.

One of the disadvantages of wearing stipulated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
is that a person cannot express his way of thinking and living. If an individual is
really
creative and likes to express himself and his personality putting certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
on, He should have that right.
As a result
, He will feel that has the power in choosing how to introduce himself to other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
For example
, The Guardian has conducted a study which revealed that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
choose their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
clothes
as a way to express what they are feeling and what they pretend to transmit to others.
Therefore
, I believe that regardless of our job we ought to be the right to choose what we desire to put on, taking into account our personality.

In conclusion
, although using a uniform is more practical, leading to less
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
, it is my opinion that all workers should decide what to wear as a form of expressing their personalities.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 5)Some people believe that the best way to succeed is to set goals and work hard to achieve them. Other people think that hard work is not as important as good luck. Which point of view do you think is true and why? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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