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554 some people say that daily journeys like these will not be so common in the future. Do you agree or disagree? v.1

554 some people say that daily journeys like these will not be so common in the future. v. 1
The rise in criminal activity has been bothering some nations. Some people argue that putting an increased number of law enforcement agencies on the roads is the most effective solution in reducing crime. In my opinion, I agree that cops are the key to control such exercises. However, closed-circuit television cameras are important too. Cops are essential to maintain discipline in the community. They use various strategies and methods to combat gangsters. Their presence on the streets gives pedestrians a feeling of safety. To illustrate, a study published by Columbia University shows the decline in the rate of violent activities in New York City in the years between 1990 through 1998 after the police force was doubled. For these reasons, more patrolling is necessary in areas where there are increased illegal activities. CCTV cameras are like the eyes of policemen. They instill a sense of fear in people, who are going to perform a wrong activity, of getting caught and going to jail. These are used to reduce violence and catch lawbreakers by identifying their face and linking it to national database. For example, a study done at Harvard University shows that illegal acts decreased by 24-28 percent at train stations after cameras were installed. Therefore, surveillance footage helps a great deal in reducing crime. In conclusion, some states are worried by the growth in criminality. It is argued by most people that having more police force patrol is the best choice in decreasing wrongdoings. In my opinion, although law enforcement agencies play a vital role in reducing crime, but, however, other measures such as installing surveillance cameras on the streets is significant too.
The rise in criminal activity has been bothering
some
nations.
Some
people
argue that putting an increased number of law enforcement agencies on the roads is the most effective solution in reducing crime. In my opinion, I
agree
that cops are the key to control such exercises.
However
, closed-circuit television
cameras
are
important
too.

Cops are essential to maintain discipline in the community. They
use
various strategies and methods to combat gangsters. Their presence on the streets gives pedestrians a feeling of safety. To illustrate, a study published by Columbia University
shows
the decline in the rate of violent activities in New York City in the years between 1990 through 1998 after the police force
was doubled
. For these reasons, more patrolling is necessary in areas where there
are increased
illegal activities.

CCTV
cameras
are like the eyes of policemen. They instill a sense of fear in
people
, who are going to perform a
wrong
activity, of getting caught and going to jail. These are
used
to
reduce
violence and catch lawbreakers by identifying their face and linking it to national database.
For example
, a study done at Harvard University
shows
that illegal acts decreased by 24-28 percent at train stations after
cameras
were installed
.
Therefore
, surveillance footage
helps
a great deal in reducing crime.

In conclusion
,
some
states
are worried
by the growth in criminality. It
is argued
by most
people
that having more police force patrol is the best choice in decreasing wrongdoings. In my opinion, although law enforcement agencies play a vital role in reducing crime,
but
,
however
, other measures such as installing surveillance
cameras
on the streets is significant too.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 554 some people say that daily journeys like these will not be so common in the future. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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