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describe a child that you know. you should say: who this child is and how often you see him or her. what he or she is likeand explain what you feel about this child. v.1

describe a child that you know. you should say: who this child is and how often you see him or her. what he or she is likeand explain what you feel about this child. v. 1
Most teenagers socialize with each other through the unsupervised access they have to the internet which can have very bad consequences and be risky for children. This essay will discuss two main issues unattended availability has included child abuse and pornography. It will also suggest two solutions to these problems, including supervision and restriction to the number of websites they can open. Internet without monitoring can lead to children being used for the wrong reasons. In addition, it has increased vulgarity. Teenagers talk to all kinds of people, both good and bad, on the internet who asks them to do different acts including sending nude pictures and videos. Young children are also exposed to pornography, which looks appealing at that age. For example, child trafficking increased by 26-28 percent after online world was introduced in Beijing, China. For these reasons, parents should monitor their minor while using computers. Supervising your youngster when he is using the web and giving him restricted access help a great deal in solving these issues. Children should be only allowed to use computers when parents are at home. In addition, limit their browsing to only educational and scientific things. To illustrate, a research published at Harvard University, shows that the majority of people who browse adult films are below the age of 20. Hence, teenagers should not be left alone in the online world. In conclusion, unattended access to the web for socializing can prove to be risky and unsafe for young boys and girls. This essay discussed the two main problems of this including maltreatment and obscenity. It also suggested the solutions to these problems are twofold: supervised and limited permission.
Most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
socialize with each other through the unsupervised access they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
the internet which can have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
consequences and be risky for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. This essay will discuss two main issues unattended availability has included child abuse and pornography. It will
also
suggest two solutions to these problems, including supervision and restriction to the number of websites they can open.

Internet without monitoring can lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
reasons.
In addition
, it has increased vulgarity.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Teenagers
talk to all kinds of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
, on the internet who asks them to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
acts including sending nude pictures and videos. Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
also
exposed to pornography, which looks appealing at that age.
For example
, child trafficking increased by 26-28 percent after online world
was introduced
in Beijing, China. For these reasons, parents should monitor their minor while using computers.

Supervising your youngster when he is using the web and giving him restricted access
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a great deal in solving these issues.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers when parents are at home.
In addition
, limit their browsing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
educational and scientific things. To illustrate,
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "research".
a research
published at Harvard University,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who browse adult films are below the age of 20.
Hence
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
should not be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
alone in the online world.

In conclusion
, unattended access to the web for socializing can prove to be risky and unsafe for young boys and girls. This essay discussed the two main problems of this including maltreatment and obscenity. It
also
suggested the solutions to these problems are twofold: supervised and limited permission.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay describe a child that you know. you should say: who this child is and how often you see him or her. what he or she is likeand explain what you feel about this child. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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