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It is more important for the government to spend money on new building than to preserve historic or traditional buildings and homes v.1

It is more important for the government to spend money on new building than to preserve historic or traditional buildings and homes v. 1
Nowadays, many changes have been made in the agriculture sector by introducing advanced technology. Besides this, hunger is still suffering by the people in the world. This trend is mainly due to unfavourable weather condition and unequal distribution of income. However, several measures could be implemented to resolve this issue. One of the most significant causes of hunger, availability is a drought in some areas. Some regions of the world have no rainfall for many years. Take Africa, for example, where there is a scarcity of rainfall, which makes difficult for natives of that area to cultivate crops on the land required for the food. As a result, they have to depend on their food in other countries. Despite improvement in the weather conditions is not in the hands of human beings. This problem could be addressed by the government by making arrangements of food by keeping healthy relationships with other neighbouring countries. Consequently, citizens are able to eat at least two-time meals which are indispensable for surviving. Another reason why people have to confront food deficiency, though after bringing new technology in agriculture is the inequality of income. Since the poor person conditions have often become worse day by day because technology gives rise to higher prices of food, which deters them buying their needy food as well. Therefore, it is evident rich become richer and inequality of income distribution usually led to hunger in the world. To tackle this problem, poor people, basic needs should be taken into consideration before raising food prices, which brings about by advanced technology in agriculture. Thus, the issue of hungriness could be solved. In conclusion, hungriness frequently stems from poor weather condition and inequality of income between rich and poor. Not until the government gets arranged food from other countries for native people who face scarcity of food and consider the poor people need before raising prices, will the issue be fully resolved.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
have
been made
in the agriculture sector by introducing advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Besides
this, hunger is
still
suffering by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in the world. This trend is
mainly
due to
Possible spelling mistake. 'unfavourable' is British English.
unfavourable
weather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
and unequal distribution of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
.
However
, several measures could
be implemented
to resolve this issue.

One of the most significant causes of hunger, availability is a drought in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
regions of the world have no rainfall for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years. Take Africa,
for example
, where there is a scarcity of rainfall, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
difficult for natives of that area to cultivate crops on the land required for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
As a result
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
depend on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
in other countries. Despite improvement in the weather conditions is not in the hands of human beings. This problem could
be addressed
by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
by making arrangements of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
by keeping healthy relationships with other
Possible spelling mistake. 'neighbouring' is British English.
neighbouring
countries.
Consequently
, citizens are able to eat at least two-time meals which are indispensable for surviving.

Another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
confront
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
deficiency, though after bringing new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in agriculture is the inequality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
. Since the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
person conditions have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
become worse day by day
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
gives rise to higher prices of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
, which deters them buying their needy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
as well
.
Therefore
, it is evident rich become richer and inequality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
distribution
usually
led to hunger in the world. To tackle this problem,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, basic needs should
be taken
into consideration
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
prices, which brings about by advanced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
in agriculture.
Thus
, the issue of hungriness could
be solved
.

In conclusion
, hungriness
frequently
stems from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
weather
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
condition
and inequality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
income
between rich and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
. Not until the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
arranged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from other countries for native
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who face scarcity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
and consider the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
raising prices, will the issue be
fully
resolved.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay It is more important for the government to spend money on new building than to preserve historic or traditional buildings and homes v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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