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4. Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.2

4. Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. v. 2
Nowadays, people tend to go aboard for their vocations due to that ravelling by plane has become more affordable under the help of modern technology; therefore, tourism is booming in many countries worldwide. Meanwhile,   the negative impacts on local communities brought by tourists should be assessed. To start with, it is a fact that tourists could disturb local residents daily life activities, even though they create revenue incomes for local governments. Local entertainment activities and festival events hold to attract more visitors will create some inconvenience to local residents in many ways.   For example, vehicles hired for visitors will lead to traffic congestion. The festival activities will cause traffic jams and disturb residents' routine daily life as well. Moreover, local native resources will be redistributed to meet the demand of visitors, which will result in higher prices or shortage for local residents. In addition, increasing visitors in many countries may lead to many illegal activities in local communities. For example, with the increasing night shows in bars, substance use and crime rate may surge up in the regions. Furthermore, local residents will be influenced by the novel ideas brought by visitors, which may lead to their personal valves change as well. Local residents, especially the youth, might pick up harmful habits from visitors, such as substance use,  or smoking. In summary, tourism will contribute to the local economy; however, it also disturbs local residents' traditional daily lives due to tourist activities. Without strict guiding tourists, they also create many potential illegal issues when they enjoy their happy hours.  Therefore, local governments should provide safety instruction for visitors and assist tourism companies to establish the right agenda for visitors to follow.
Nowadays,
people
tend to go aboard for their vocations due to that
ravelling
by
plane
has become more affordable under the
help
of modern technology;
therefore
, tourism is booming in
many
countries worldwide. Meanwhile,
  
the
negative
impacts on
local
communities brought by
tourists
should
be assessed
.

To
start
with, it is a fact that
tourists
could disturb
local
residents
daily life
activities
,
even though
they create revenue incomes for
local
governments
.
Local
entertainment
activities
and festival 
events
hold to attract more
visitors
will create
some
inconvenience to local
residents
in
many
ways.
  
For example
, vehicles hired for
visitors
will lead to traffic congestion. The festival
activities
will cause traffic jams and disturb residents' routine daily life
as well
.
Moreover
,
local
native resources will
be redistributed
to
meet
the demand of
visitors
, which will result in higher prices or shortage for
local
residents.

In addition
, increasing
visitors
in
many
countries may lead to 
many
illegal
activities
in
local
communities.
For example
, with the increasing night
shows
in bars, substance
use
 and crime rate may surge up in the regions.
Furthermore
,
local
residents
will
be influenced
by the novel
ideas
brought by
visitors
, which may lead to their personal valves
change
as well
.
Local
residents
,
especially
the youth, might pick up harmful habits from
visitors
, such as substance
use
,
 
or smoking.

In summary, tourism will contribute to the
local
economy;
however
, it
also
disturbs
local
residents' traditional daily
lives
due to
tourist
activities
. Without strict guiding
tourists
, they
also
create
many
potential illegal issues when they enjoy their happy hours.  
Therefore
,
local
governments
should provide safety instruction for
visitors
and assist tourism
companies
to establish the right agenda for
visitors
to follow.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay 4. Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries, but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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