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Some people think that libraries are a waste of resources and money so computers should replace them. However others disagree. Discuss both sides and give your opinion. v.9

Some people think that libraries are a waste of resources and money so computers should replace them. However others disagree. v. 9
There has been heated debate on running of libraries for years now. Book centres should be closed as there are better alternatives that are readily available. I agree that, these places should be replaced by new and advanced computer centres. Firstly, these centres uses to hold a wide variety of books in shelves before, but now the technology has progressed, we can store all those books on a computer which is convenient to all the users. Secondly, we don't have to search for reading material on the shelves, but we have to type the first letter of the stuff we will find all the related matter to go through it easily without wasting our precious time. For example, a survey conducted at the institute stated, that in Canada 85% of these centres has been transformed into computer institutions. In contrast, people can now use computers and laptops with ease without anybody's assistance. Moreover, they can read all the editions of past, present authors on a screen without any difficulty. In addition, the revisions of a book are updated on the system, so you can find it easily if you click on the author's name. For instance, an article printed in the Sun's newspaper stated, that nearly 65% of people were happy and enjoyed the new platforms for reading articles and journals because they could read it on the screen with no need to turn the pages back and forth. In conclusion, reading centres should be closed as there are better alternatives that are readily available for people such as e-books on a desktop laptop which is fast & easily accessible for everyone. I completely agree that, these primitive places should be replaced by new and modern centres with excellent facilities.
There has
been heated
debate on running of libraries for years
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Book
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
should
be closed
as there are better alternatives that are
readily
available. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that, these places should
be replaced
by new and advanced computer
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
.

Firstly
, these
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
to hold a wide variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
in shelves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the technology has progressed, we can store all those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
books
on a computer which is convenient to all the users.
Secondly
, we don't
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
search for reading material on the shelves,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
type the
first
letter of the stuff we will find all the related matter to go through it
easily
without wasting our precious time.
For example
, a survey conducted at the institute stated, that in Canada 85% of these
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
has
been transformed
into computer institutions.

In contrast
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
computers and laptops with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
without anybody's assistance.
Moreover
, they can read all the editions of past, present authors on a screen without any difficulty.
In addition
, the revisions of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
book
are updated
on the system,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you can find it
easily
if you click on the author's name.
For instance
, an article printed in the Sun's newspaper stated, that
nearly
65% of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
were happy and enjoyed the new platforms for reading articles and journals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they could read it on the screen with no need to turn the pages back and forth.

In conclusion
, reading
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
should
be closed
as there are better alternatives that are
readily
available for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
such as e-books on a desktop laptop which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
&
easily
accessible for everyone. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that, these primitive places should
be replaced
by new and modern
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
with excellent facilities.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that libraries are a waste of resources and money so computers should replace them. However others disagree. v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
290 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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