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25/09/2017 Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. To what extent do you agree v.1

25/09/2017 Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. 1
Despite knowing about the biodiversity’s importance for a long time, human activity has been causing massive extinctions of different species. This essay will examine the main causes of loss of biodiversity and possible solutions of this problem. The two main causes of species extinction are change of their habitats and overexploitation of natural resources. When humans artificially transform the environment, they destroy vegetation and animals’ natural habitat. For instance, to build new roads people are cutting down the trees and cementing the soil, altering the environment. Because of that, a lot of species are dying out. Also, when the activities connected with capturing and harvesting a natural resource is too intense in a particular area, the resource becomes exhausted. For example, too frequent fishing doesn’t leave enough time for fish to reproduce and makes them disappear. In other words, human activities often deplete local flora and fauna and cause loss of bio-diversity. Some possible solutions to this problem are protecting natural areas and promoting awareness among people. By protecting areas where human activity is limited and avoiding over exploitation of its resources, we can save the untouched environment and prevent species from dying out. Moreover, the next step in fighting bio-diversity loss is informing the general population about the dangers of this problem. This way, people will be more conscious of the environment and won’t overuse or destroy its resources. To conclude, people’s activities that change the environment have a negative impact on the world's ecosystem. However, we can significantly lessen the extinction of species by protecting natural areas and enlightening people as to this problem.
Despite knowing about the biodiversity’s importance for a long time,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
has been causing massive extinctions of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
species. This essay will examine the main causes of loss of biodiversity and possible solutions of this problem.

The two main causes of species extinction are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
of their habitats and overexploitation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
resources. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
artificially
transform the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
vegetation and animals’
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
habitat.
For instance
, to build new roads
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are cutting down the trees and cementing the soil, altering the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
species are dying out.
Also
, when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
connected with capturing and harvesting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
is too intense in a particular
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
resource
becomes exhausted.
For example
, too frequent fishing doesn’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
time for fish to reproduce and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them disappear.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
deplete local flora and fauna and cause loss of bio-diversity.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
possible solutions to this problem are protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and promoting awareness among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. By protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
is limited
and avoiding over exploitation of its resources, we can save the untouched
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
species from dying out.
Moreover
, the
next
step in fighting bio-diversity loss is informing the general population about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of this problem. This way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be more conscious of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and won’t overuse or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
its resources.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on the world's ecosystem.
However
, we can
significantly
lessen the extinction of species by protecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
natural
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
and enlightening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as to this problem.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 25/09/2017 Improvements in health, education and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
266 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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