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28/10/2017Some people think that a car is the best way to travel in cities while others believe a bicycle is a better way. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

28/10/2017Some people think that a car is the best way to travel in cities while others believe a bicycle is a better way. v. 2
Some argue driving an automobile appears to be the best way to move around in a megalopolis. Other claim riding a bicycle is a more beneficial and efficient way to do so. Below both prospects will be analyzed and author’s opinion will be given. On the one hand, there are some conspicuous advantages in having a vehicle. Firstly, a car allows saving a considerable volume of time because may city dwellers inhabit in the suburbs but work in the center. To illustrate, an average trip from a house to a workplace may take up to forty minutes if a car is being used, but the same journey by but will take an hour and a half. Secondly, safety is another serious merit. For instance, personal items of a motorist are safe, he will not contract a flue from someone or have an unpleasant argument with a strange while commuting. So, driving a car makes a life of a driver better and less stressful. Those are benefits associated with ownership of a private vehicle. On the other hand, moving around on a bicycle has some supporters as well. Primarily, they point to health benefits that are acquired while riding a bike. One of the biggest is the dramatic decrease of a likelihood of having a heart attack and an overall advantageous impact on fitness and mood of a rider. Furthermore, there are many economic incentives. An owner of a two-wheel transport does not buy gasoline or pay taxes for having a car. The absence of an engine means there is no an expensive maintenance service needed. In other words, a bicycle possesses many positive characteristics that make it an attractive mean of transportation. In my opinion, both an auto and a bicycle have valuable features but, perhaps, a car is more suitable for those who live far away from their work and a bike is better for happy individuals whose offices are situated near their homes.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
argue driving an automobile appears to be the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
around in a megalopolis. Other claim riding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
is a more beneficial and efficient way to do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Below both prospects will
be analyzed
and author’s opinion will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
conspicuous advantages in having a vehicle.
Firstly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
saving a considerable volume of time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
may city dwellers inhabit in the suburbs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
work in the center. To illustrate, an average trip from a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
to a workplace may take up to forty minutes if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the same journey by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
will take an hour and a half.
Secondly
, safety is another serious merit.
For instance
, personal items of a motorist are safe, he will not contract a flue from someone or have an unpleasant argument with a strange while commuting.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, driving a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a life of a driver better and less stressful. Those are benefits associated with ownership of a private vehicle.

On the other hand
, moving around on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
supporters
as well
.
Primarily
, they point to health benefits that
are acquired
while riding a bike. One of the biggest is the dramatic decrease of a likelihood of having a heart attack and an
overall
advantageous impact on fitness and mood of a rider.
Furthermore
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
economic incentives. An owner of
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "two-wheel transport".
a two-wheel transport
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
gasoline or pay taxes for having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
. The absence of an engine means there is
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
an expensive maintenance service needed.
In other words
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
possesses
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
characteristics that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
it an attractive mean of transportation.

In my opinion, both an auto and a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
bicycle
have valuable features
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, perhaps, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
is more suitable for those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
far away from their work and a bike is better for happy individuals whose offices
are situated
near their homes.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
9Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay 28/10/2017Some people think that a car is the best way to travel in cities while others believe a bicycle is a better way. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
325 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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