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27/10/2017 Nowadays plastic money replacements such as credit and debit cards are extremely popular, even more than banknotes and coins. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Include your personal opinion and examples based on your own experie v.2

27/10/2017 Nowadays plastic money replacements such as credit and debit cards are extremely popular, even more than banknotes and coins. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Include your personal opinion and examples based on your own experie v. 2
In many countries, paper banknotes and metal money are being slowly but steadily replaced by plastic money. Below some merits and shortages of the trend and author' s opinion will be given. On the one hand, an increasing usage of plastic cards has brought some benefits. Firstly, paying by Visa and Master card is extremely convenient. For example, having a card allows me not to carry with me a wallet all the time and avoid dealing with dirty banknotes and heavy coins. Furthermore, traveling abroad with the cards is comfortable because if I am short on money, me relatives or friends can always send me some finances on my card. Secondly, using plastic money allows me to avoid having problems in case I lose the card. When my card was lost on a bus, I merely made a phone call to block it and to order a new one. My savings were preserved and untouched. So, spreading of the trend makes lives of citizens more comfortable and safer. On the other hand, the trend is associated with some disadvantages. Primarily, a cyber security is perhaps the biggest issue. Although a person may be careful, his password and login could be stolen by hackers. In fact, more than a million people have suffered from a recent cyber attack on one of the wealthiest Russian banks and I was one of the victims. My bank account was breached and if I hadn’t had only a small amount on it, my well-being would have been seriously damaged by this situation. In addition, the trend gives to international corporations and governments an indispensable opportunity to collect personal data about visited places and made purchases. This information might be used to manipulate people and even blackmail some individuals. In other words, the replacement of cash by plastic cards has some adverse facets. In my opinion, although the cards are really convenient and their exploitation brings many fruits, I am personally prone to limit their usage because the drawbacks of the trend are too dire and significant.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, paper banknotes and metal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
are being
slowly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
steadily
replaced by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Below
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
merits and shortages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
author&
#039; s opinion will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
.

On the one hand, an increasing usage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits.
Firstly
, paying by Visa and Master
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
is
extremely
convenient.
For example
, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
me not to carry with me a wallet all the time and avoid dealing with dirty banknotes and heavy coins.
Furthermore
, traveling abroad with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
is comfortable
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
if I am short on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, me relatives or friends can always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
me
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
finances on my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
.
Secondly
, using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
me to avoid having problems in case I lose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
. When my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
card
was lost
on a bus, I
merely
made a phone call to block it and to order a new one. My savings
were preserved
and untouched.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, spreading of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of citizens more comfortable and safer.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
is associated
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages.
Primarily
, a cyber security is perhaps the biggest issue. Although a person may be careful, his password and login could
be stolen
by hackers. In fact, more than a million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have suffered from a recent
This word is normally spelled as one.
cyber attack
on one of the wealthiest Russian
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
banks and
I was one of the victims. My bank account
was breached
and if I hadn’t had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
amount on it, my well-being would have been
seriously
damaged by this situation.
In addition
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
gives to international corporations and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
an indispensable opportunity to collect personal data about visited places and made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
. This information might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to manipulate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
and even blackmail
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals.
In other words
, the replacement of cash by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
plastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adverse facets.

In my opinion, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cards
are
really
convenient and their exploitation brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fruits, I am
personally
prone to limit their usage
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the drawbacks of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trend
are too dire and significant.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
It is astonishing how much enjoyment one can get out of a language that one understands imperfectly.
Basil Lanneau Gildersleeve

IELTS essay 27/10/2017 Nowadays plastic money replacements such as credit and debit cards are extremely popular, even more than banknotes and coins. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this. Include your personal opinion and examples based on your own experie v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
341 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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