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28/10/2017Animals are used by humans for profit in many ways. However, some people don’t agree with this use of animals. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion. v.2

28/10/2017Animals are used by humans for profit in many ways. However, some people don’t agree with this use of animals. v. 2
Since the stone age, humankind has been using animals for profit in a wide variety of ways. However, some aver those practices should be stopped. Below both prospects will be discussed and author’s opinion will be given. On the one hand, exploitation of animals is a necessity. Firstly, many traditions, customs and rituals are rooted in human interaction with animals because for hundreds and even thousands of years, livestock has been providing mankind with food, clothes and workforce. Keeping exploiting the living creatures means to be in touch with our history and cultural heritage. Secondly, animals are an indispensable source of food. If today there left on pigs, no cows and horses, a half of the humanity would die from starvation and food shortage within a month. Moreover, economies of many states badly depend on the revenue got from sales of meat, animal skin and dairy products. Taking away this resource of income will inevitably devastate the citizens of those countries. In other words, using animals for profit is needed for keeping traditions alive and fueling the economy. On the other hand, many individuals are against the usage of living creatures. Perhaps, the most widespread argument is the immorality of mankind’s actions. In fact, bringing up animals and then killing them ruthlessly is rather a barbaric practice, in particular, from a point of view of city dwellers who do not get used to such cruelties. Furthermore, the advancement of modern technologies will provide human beings with a possibility to grow artificial meat, skin and other products on a big scale. In fact, such technologies have been available for a couple of years by now. Thus, the victimization of animals may be stopped without creating a food deficit. In my opinion, although our past is bond with killing and using living creatures, we ought not to try to stop the progress. Disawoving the past habits and customs that have become obsolete and embracing the new ones that will not involve using animals from making money is a right action to do.
Since the
stone age
, humankind has been using
animals
for profit in a wide variety of ways.
However
,
some
aver those practices should be
stopped
. Below both prospects will
be discussed
and author’s opinion will be
given
.

On the one hand, exploitation of
animals
is a necessity.
Firstly
,
many
traditions, customs and rituals
are rooted
in human interaction with
animals
because
for hundreds and even thousands of years, livestock has been providing mankind with
food
, clothes and workforce. Keeping exploiting the living creatures means to be in touch with our history and cultural heritage.
Secondly
,
animals
are an indispensable source of
food
. If
today
there
left
on pigs, no cows and horses, a half of the humanity would
die
from starvation and
food
shortage within a month.
Moreover
, economies of
many
states
badly
depend on the revenue
got
from sales of meat,
animal
skin and dairy products. Taking away this resource of income will
inevitably
devastate the citizens of those countries.
In other words
, using
animals
for profit
is needed
for keeping traditions alive and fueling the economy.

On the other hand
,
many
individuals are against the usage of living creatures. Perhaps, the most widespread argument is the immorality of mankind’s actions. In fact, bringing up
animals
and then killing them
ruthlessly
is
rather
a barbaric practice,
in particular
, from a point of view of city dwellers who do not
get
used
to such cruelties.
Furthermore
, the advancement of modern technologies will provide human beings with a possibility to grow artificial meat, skin and other products on a
big
scale. In fact, such technologies have been available for a couple of years by
now
.
Thus
, the victimization of
animals
may be
stopped
without creating a
food
deficit.

In my opinion, although our past is bond with killing and using living creatures, we ought not to try to
stop
the progress.
Disawoving
the past habits and customs that have become obsolete and embracing the new ones that will not involve using
animals
from making money is a right action to do.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
13Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay 28/10/2017Animals are used by humans for profit in many ways. However, some people don’t agree with this use of animals. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
340 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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