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26. Do you agree with the statement that the opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important for the young people than they are to the older people? v.1

26. that the opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important for the young people than they are to the older people? v. 1
In recent times, the world has been witnessing several technological marvels. From the age-old days of learning in outdoor classrooms, where saints served as teachers, to present-day modern learning methods, humans have come a long way. Thanks to the novelty and widespread in technology that has brought changes in our attitude towards the education system. It may seem possible for robots to totally replace human teachers, however, I believe, this approach will not be a success if implemented, primarily because of an emotional disconnect between machines and human. Also, as these are overly expensive not all classrooms will implement them. The advent of modern technology is making the impossible turn into possibility. One area is in the field of education, particularly in schools and colleges, where attempts are being made to soon replace all human teachers with the robotic ones. This has already been implemented, for instance, in a few developed nations that believe their attempts can help improve the learning experience of students. These machines have been specially programmed to work similar to a real teacher. Nevertheless, such ideas require a huge amount of investment. Therefore, not all nations can afford it. Countries that are able to afford it are unable to recreate the same atmosphere in the classroom, that is otherwise possible in the presence of a real educator. One reason for this is, machines cannot develop innate feelings and hence will fail to create an impact on the students. Another reason is, since a machine requires programming it cannot think beyond. This can cause a major setback in understanding of and attending to the unique needs of every child. Also, additional upgrades to these robots will require more effort and may not be possible after a certain extent. To conclude, although modern technology is making numerous breakthroughs such as, incorporating machines with an attempt to completely replace humans in the education arena; this is improbable due to the fact that they are artificial and lack the understanding of a real teacher. Adding to this money constraints for some nations will turn this idea unfruitful in the foreseeable future.
In recent times, the world has been witnessing several technological marvels. From the age-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
days of learning in outdoor classrooms, where saints served as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
, to present-day modern learning methods,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
a long way. Thanks to the novelty and widespread in technology that has brought
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in our attitude towards the education system. It may seem possible for robots to
totally
replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
,
however
, I believe, this approach will not be a success if implemented,
primarily
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of an emotional disconnect between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
.
Also
, as these are
overly
expensive not all classrooms will implement them.

The advent of modern technology is making the impossible turn into possibility. One area is in the field of education,
particularly
in schools and colleges, where attempts are
being made
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
replace all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
with the robotic ones. This has already
been implemented
,
for instance
, in a few developed nations that believe their attempts can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the learning experience of students. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
have been
specially
programmed to work similar to a real teacher.

Nevertheless
, such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
require a huge amount of investment.
Therefore
, not all nations can afford it. Countries that are able to afford it are unable to recreate the same atmosphere in the classroom,
that is
otherwise
possible in the presence of a real educator. One reason for this is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
cannot develop innate feelings and
hence
will fail to create an impact on the students. Another reason is, since a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
requires programming it cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
beyond. This can cause a major setback in understanding of and attending to the unique needs of every child.
Also
, additional upgrades to these robots will require more effort and may not be possible after a certain extent.

To conclude
, although modern technology is making numerous breakthroughs such as, incorporating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
with an attempt to completely replace
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
in the education arena; this is improbable due to the fact that they are artificial and lack the understanding of a real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teacher
. Adding to this money constraints for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
nations will turn this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
unfruitful in the foreseeable future.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay 26. that the opinions of celebrities, such as famous entertainers and athletes, are more important for the young people than they are to the older people? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
351 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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