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2672 describe a friend who you haven't seen in yearsyou should saywhere you first met themwhy you were friends with themwhat you think they're doing nowand expalin why you haven't seen them recently v.1

2672 describe a friend who you haven't seen in yearsyou should saywhere you first met themwhy you were friends with themwhat you think they're doing nowand expalin why you haven't seen them recently v. 1
Should youngsters spend their leisure time alone by themselves or engage in structured group activities? Some individuals feel that parents should encourage their teenagers in participating in group activities, while others say it is essential for children to have the freedom on how to use their free time. In my opinion, I agree with the notion that organized activities are best as this will prevent them from isolation and also teach them skills like teamwork. On the one hand, people feel that these structured activities during their free time such as playing soccer will eliminate the feeling of isolation. Most adolescent usually enjoy the company of their friends during school hours and most often feel withdrawn when at home. Involving them in these activities make them feel happier particularly when they are among their peers. In addition to this, some valuable skills cannot be learnt if children do not interact with other children. For example, growing up as the only child of my parents without any sibling, I never felt isolated because I was involved in several structured groups, like the football team in school and the choir in church. I also learnt how to work with others which I believe is an important skill in every aspect of life. On the other hand, a certain number of people feel it is vital to allow youngsters to decide on how to use their free time. Firstly, they argue that this will remove the possibility of them being bullied in group activities. Although, this might be true as there is a chance that one of the children in the group might be a bully, but in my opinion, I disagree as these groups are usually supervised by an adult and as a result of this the chances of any incident occurring comes to a decline. Secondly, they argue that it allows them to choose what interests them freely. Although this is a valid point, but ultimately they need others to acquire skills to flourish in their interest. To conclude, giving them the ability to choose their likes and protecting them from a bully by allowing them to decide on how to utilize their free time is ideal, these could also be achieved in other ways. Ultimately, the benefits of structured activities such as learning how to work with others is more important.
Should youngsters spend their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
alone by themselves or engage in structured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
?
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that parents should encourage their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
in participating in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, while others say it is essential for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to have the freedom on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. In my opinion, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that organized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are best as this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
them from isolation and
also
teach them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
like teamwork.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
that these structured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
such as playing soccer will eliminate the feeling of isolation. Most adolescent
usually
enjoy the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
of their friends during school hours and most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
withdrawn when at home. Involving them in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
happier
particularly
when they are among their peers.
In addition
to this,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
cannot be
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not interact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
For example
, growing up as the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
child of my parents without any sibling, I never felt isolated
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I
was involved
in several structured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
, like the football team in school and the choir in church. I
also
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
how to work with others which I believe is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
in every aspect of life.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, a certain number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
feel
it is vital to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
youngsters to decide on how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
Firstly
, they argue that this will remove the possibility of them
being bullied
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. Although, this might be true as there is a chance that one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
might be a bully,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion, I disagree as these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
are
usually
supervised by an adult and
as a result
of this the chances of any incident occurring
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to a decline.
Secondly
, they argue that it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to choose what interests them
freely
. Although this is a valid point,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
ultimately
they need others to acquire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
to flourish in their interest.

To conclude
, giving them the ability to choose their likes and protecting them from a bully by allowing them to decide on how to utilize their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is ideal, these could
also
be achieved
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways.
Ultimately
, the benefits of structured
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as learning how to work with others is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 2672 describe a friend who you haven't seen in yearsyou should saywhere you first met themwhy you were friends with themwhat you think they're doing nowand expalin why you haven't seen them recently v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
391 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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