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2565 Do you think more people will choose to leave their native country and live abroadin the future? " v.1

2565 Do you think more people will choose to leave their native country and live abroadin the future? " v. 1
There is always a debate on whether travelling alone or in a group with a tour guide is better. In my opinion, the latter is the better way. In this essay I am going to support my view with examples. Firstly, travelling with a guide can help us to plan the trip effectively. This is because, the tour guide is already experienced with the area, and can suggest us the most beautiful and important areas to visit first. Furthermore, he can also warn us about any impending risks for the locations we are visiting, which may not be possible if we travel without a guide. For example, when I visited Munnar, our group hired a guide, as we had a very little time he helped us to cover most of the beautiful areas. By the end of the trip, we were fully satisfied and happy, which would not have been possible if we had travelled on our own. If one does not hire a tour guide, he may need to explore the area on his own. This can result in an unnecessary spending of money by visiting the less popular attractions. Secondly, travelling in a group can be more fun than travelling alone. The reason being that the larger the group the more people we can get acquainted with. For instance, I recently travelled to Pune with a group randomly grouped together by the tourism agency, I was sceptical about it initially, but later when the trip was over I felt if only I had more time to spend with the group. Also, a group can make the travel time between two places exciting. If a person decides to travel alone, he may get bored easily and may not be able to enjoy the trip properly. To conclude, Travelling in groups with a guide can make the trip more interesting and fun. In my view, Although hiring a tour guide and travelling in a group is not necessary, the advantage of an improved experience makes them worthy of trying.
There is always a debate on whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
alone or in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
is better. In my opinion, the latter is the better way. In this essay I am going to support my view with examples.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to plan the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
effectively
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
is already experienced with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
, and can suggest us the most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to visit
first
.
Furthermore
, he can
also
warn us about any impending
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
for the locations we are visiting, which may not be possible if we travel without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
.
For example
, when I visited
Possible spelling mistake found.
Munnar
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
hired a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
, as we had a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
time he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
us to cover most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
. By the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
, we were
fully
satisfied and happy, which would not have been possible if we had travelled on our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. If one does not hire a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
, he may need to explore the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. This can result in an unnecessary spending of money by visiting the less popular attractions.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
can be more fun than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
alone. The reason being that the larger the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
the more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
acquainted with.
For instance
, I recently travelled to Pune with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
randomly
grouped together by the tourism agency, I was
Possible spelling mistake. 'sceptical' is British English.
sceptical
about it
initially
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
later when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
was over I felt if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
I had more time to spend with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
.
Also
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the travel time between two places exciting. If a person decides to travel alone, he may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bored
easily
and may not be able to enjoy the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
properly
.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
groups
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
trip
more interesting and fun. In my view, Although hiring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tour
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
guide
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
group
is not necessary, the advantage of an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
experience
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them worthy of trying.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 2565 Do you think more people will choose to leave their native country and live abroadin the future? " v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
339 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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