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2288 describe your favorite movie what's the of the film? what's the theme of the film? why do you like it? v.1

2288 describe your favorite movie what's the of the film? what's the theme of the film? why do you like it? v. 1
It is true that these days, the family structure has considerably shifted, and the changing roles of men and women in the family have become increasingly similar. There are several new forms of family composition, and in my opinion, these developments are not always desirable. The classical structure of the domestic household was much better, where the head of the house was responsible to earn for the whole family. Because in this way, a family obeys the breadwinner and all the decision were made by the family head, such structure is called the joint family system. For example, many masses in Lahore, Pakistan live with this system and all the member of the house stood by the side of a member who has any trouble. In the result, this will definitely overcome the communication gap between the family members. On the other hand, according to modern society rule, every person of the family will work after their 18th birthday and will financially support them equally. This rule has its own flaws, because when the teenager domestic member was instructed by the family head to earn by himself/ herself to pay educational expenses, the teenager will definitely not take care of elders at their turn point of age. To illustrate, if the parents do not financially help, such kids lose their confidence in early age and they prefer to leave their parents at old homes after their retirement. In the nutshell, such mentally has encouraged the old home culture in Europe and the United States of America. In conclusion, I believe that the changes in the roles of family members and the family structure are both positive and negative.
It is true that these days, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
has
considerably
shifted, and the changing roles of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
and women in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
have become
increasingly
similar. There are several new forms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
composition, and in my opinion, these developments are not always desirable.

The classical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
of the domestic household was much better, where the head of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
was responsible to earn for the whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
in this way, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
obeys the breadwinner and all the decision
were made
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
head, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
is called
the joint
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
system.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
masses in Lahore, Pakistan
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with this system and all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
stood by the side of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
who has any trouble. In the result, this will definitely overcome the communication gap between the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
members.

On the other hand
, according to modern society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
, every person of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
will work after their 18th birthday and will
financially
support them
equally
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
flaws,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
when the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
member
was instructed
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
head to earn by himself/ herself to pay educational expenses, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenager
will definitely not take care of elders at their turn point of age. To illustrate, if the parents do not
financially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
, such kids lose their confidence in early
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
age and
they prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their parents at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
homes after their retirement. In the nutshell, such mentally has encouraged the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
home culture in Europe and the United States of America.

In conclusion
, I believe that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the roles of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
members
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
family
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
structure
are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 2288 describe your favorite movie what's the of the film? what's the theme of the film? why do you like it? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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