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2068 second You should say: what it waswho you learned it fromhow you learned itand explain why you think it is useful. v.1

2068 second You should say: what it waswho you learned it fromhow you learned itand explain why you think it is useful. v. 1
In today's modern and competitive society, we need to equip ourselves with a huge fund of knowledge in order to achieve success. While I cannot deny that the understandings of the university provides very rewarding, I agree with the statement that achieving success needs several qualities, a few of which cannot be learnt in academic institutions. To begin with, individuals cannot become successful if they only have academic knowledge. Take for instance, those who graduated from universities with high results, but they couldn’t get a job because of their lack of experiences. For other examples, the CEO of Microsoft – Bill Gates, who quitted the Havard University, developed leadership qualities from his own experiences. Actually the insights provided by the universities are focused on theoretical issues which hardly come in real life. However, there are some skills which are essential to succeed, but can’t be learned in school but in real life. And the differences between theory and practice are so large that we are likely to get in troubles. On the other hand, many people can become successful without going to colleges. Business people who have inborn intelligence and also hard work will lead to their achievement. As we all know Michael Dell who is the founder of Dell left school at 19. But what is more shocking is he started his computer company in his college dorm room, he had worked very hard, and he also had to use up his savings and expenses, even his family’s loan to maintain his progress and to get the results he has now. And for those who aspire to succeed in sports or entertainment, the natural abilities and luck accounted for a large proportion. If you are invited to be a guest from the reality show for example, it is possible for you to be well known and from that you will become more famous and due to your success. To sum up, it is absolutely wrong to affirm that one’s prosperity completely depends on their academic education. To be successful, not only do we need to improve our real life skills, but also the characteristics of a the prosperous person.
In
today
's modern and competitive society, we need to equip ourselves with a huge fund of knowledge in order to achieve success. While I cannot deny that the understandings of the
university
provides
very
rewarding, I
agree
with the statement that achieving success needs several qualities, a few of which cannot be
learnt
in academic institutions.

To
begin
with, individuals cannot become successful if they
only
have academic knowledge. Take
for instance
, those
who
graduated from
universities
with high results,
but
they couldn’t
get
a job
because
of their lack of experiences. For other examples, the CEO of Microsoft
Bill Gates,
who
quitted
the
Havard
University
, developed leadership qualities from his
own
experiences. Actually the insights provided by the
universities
are focused
on theoretical issues which hardly
come
in real life.
However
, there are
some
skills
which are essential to succeed,
but
can’t
be learned
in school
but
in real life. And the differences between theory and practice are
so
large that we are likely to
get
in troubles.

On the other hand
,
many
people
can become successful without going to colleges. Business
people
who
have inborn intelligence and
also
hard
work will lead to their achievement.
As
we all know Michael Dell
who
is the founder of Dell
left
school at 19.
But
what is more
shocking is he
started
his computer
company
in his college dorm room, he had worked
very
hard
, and he
also
had to
use
up his savings and expenses, even his family’s loan to maintain his progress and to
get
the results he has
now
. And for those
who
aspire to succeed in sports or entertainment, the natural abilities and luck accounted for a large proportion. If you
are invited
to be a guest from the reality
show
for example
, it is possible for you to be well known and from that you will become more
famous
and due to your success.

To sum up, it is
absolutely
wrong
to affirm that one’s prosperity completely depends on their academic education. To be successful, not
only
do we need to
improve
our real life
skills
,
but
also
the characteristics of
a the
prosperous person.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 2068 second You should say: what it waswho you learned it fromhow you learned itand explain why you think it is useful. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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