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Part 2Describe a piece of electronic equipment that you find useful. You should say: what it is how you learned to use it how long have you had itand explain why you find this piece of electronic equipment useful. v.1

Part 2Describe a piece of electronic equipment that you find useful. You should say: what it is how you learned to use it how long have you had itand explain why you find this piece of electronic equipment useful. v. 1
THIS ESSAY WILL COMPLETELY CONCUR WITH THE NOTION WHICH STATES THAT SURGE IN THE TELEVISION VIOLENCE HAVING A DETRIMENTAL INFLUENCE ON THE JUVENILES. HENCE, FIRSTLY, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS WHY IT IS HAPPENING AND SECONDLY THE MAJOR DEVASTATING IMPACT ON OFFSPRINGS. THE PRIME REASON BEHIND THIS SCENARIO IS THE LACK OF QUALITY TIME WITH THE PARENTS OWNING TO NUMEROUS CONSEQUENCES. THIS BUSY GUARDIANS UNKNOWINGLY GIVING THEM A CHANCE TO SPEND MORE TIME IN FRONT OF station set RATHER THAN OTHER PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES. CONSEQUENTLY, THE JUVENILS COME UNDER THE DETRIMENTAL TV set INFLUENCE THAT WOULD FURTHER LEAD TO RUIN THE REST OF THEIR LIVELIHOOD. ACCORDING TO THE CHILD SAFETY DEPARTMENT OF THE UK, 70% OF THE CHILDREN IN THE UK ARE PROFESSIONAL OFFENDERS BECAUSE OF THE TV set. ADDITIONALLY, THE MAJOR IMPACT IS ON THEIR HEALTH. AS THEY INVEST THEIR MOST OF THE TIME BY SITTING IN FRONT OF TELEVISION, THIER INTELLIGENT QUESTION CAPABILITIES ARE DECLINED TO SOME EXTENT. AND ALSO THIS HABITS AFFECT THEIR HEALTH IN MANY WAYS SUCH AS OBESITY, REDUCED EYE SIGHT AND SO ON. FOR INSTANCE, AS PER THE AUSTRALIAN UNIVERSITY OF THE PERTH, 60% THE JUVENILES HAVE BAD IQ LEVEL EVEN AT THE YOUNG AGE. THIS IS DUE TO THE SEEING MORE VIOLENCE ON THE TELEVISION. IN CONCLUSION, TV set INDEED HAVE BOTH PLUS AND MINUS SIDE FOR THE CHILDREN HOWEVER, IT IS THE PARENTS RESPONSIBILITY TO KEEP AN EYE ON THEIR JUVENILE'S ACTIVITIES TO GUIDE THEM IN THE CORRECT WAY THAT COULD BE USEFUL FOR THE SOCIETY AND THEMSELVES AS WELL.
THIS ESSAY WILL COMPLETELY CONCUR WITH THE NOTION WHICH STATES THAT SURGE IN THE TELEVISION VIOLENCE HAVING A DETRIMENTAL INFLUENCE ON THE JUVENILES.
HENCE
,
FIRSTLY
, THIS ESSAY WILL DISCUSS WHY IT IS HAPPENING AND
SECONDLY
THE MAJOR DEVASTATING IMPACT ON
OFFSPRINGS
.

THE PRIME REASON BEHIND THIS SCENARIO IS THE LACK OF QUALITY TIME WITH THE PARENTS OWNING TO NUMEROUS CONSEQUENCES. THIS BUSY GUARDIANS
UNKNOWINGLY
GIVING THEM A CHANCE TO SPEND MORE TIME IN FRONT OF station set
RATHER
THAN OTHER PHYSICAL ACTIVITIES.
CONSEQUENTLY
, THE
JUVENILS
COME
UNDER THE DETRIMENTAL TV set INFLUENCE THAT WOULD
FURTHER
LEAD TO RUIN THE REST OF THEIR LIVELIHOOD. ACCORDING TO THE CHILD SAFETY DEPARTMENT OF THE UK, 70% OF THE CHILDREN IN THE UK ARE PROFESSIONAL OFFENDERS
BECAUSE
OF THE TV set.

ADDITIONALLY
, THE MAJOR IMPACT IS ON THEIR HEALTH. AS THEY INVEST THEIR MOST OF THE TIME BY SITTING IN FRONT OF TELEVISION,
THIER
INTELLIGENT QUESTION CAPABILITIES
ARE DECLINED
TO
SOME
EXTENT. AND
ALSO
THIS HABITS AFFECT THEIR HEALTH IN
MANY
WAYS SUCH AS OBESITY,
REDUCED
EYE SIGHT
AND
SO
ON.
FOR INSTANCE
, AS PER THE AUSTRALIAN UNIVERSITY OF THE PERTH, 60% THE JUVENILES HAVE
BAD
IQ LEVEL EVEN AT THE YOUNG AGE. THIS IS DUE TO THE SEEING MORE VIOLENCE ON THE TELEVISION.

IN CONCLUSION
, TV set
INDEED
HAVE BOTH PLUS AND MINUS SIDE FOR THE CHILDREN
HOWEVER
, IT IS THE PARENTS RESPONSIBILITY TO
KEEP
AN EYE ON THEIR JUVENILE'S ACTIVITIES TO GUIDE THEM IN THE CORRECT WAY THAT COULD BE USEFUL FOR THE SOCIETY AND THEMSELVES
AS WELL
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Part 2Describe a piece of electronic equipment that you find useful. You should say: what it is how you learned to use it how long have you had itand explain why you find this piece of electronic equipment useful. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
256 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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