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2020-01-11: Task 2 Many students take part-time jobs while studying in the universities. Is this a bad or good idea? v.1

2020-01-11: Task 2 Many students take part-time jobs while studying in the universities. Is this a bad or good idea? v. 1
Education is an integral part of our society. Therefore, numerous individuals dedicate an ample amount of their time towards education. Moreover, certain students consider working part-time while studying in institutions. Hence, it certainly is a benefit to the students. In this essay, we shall discuss this topic further. Everything has a price, and the cost of education is extremely expensive these days, so most people cannot afford it. However, many individuals take loans in order to pay their tuition fees. Moreover, managing the daily expenses such as rent, transportation and food require extra money and thus many students prefer to work part-time to handle these payments. Furthermore, by working it incorporates responsibility as well as punctuality in their schedules. For example, they learn about the basic necessities that are to be done like paying rent and bills on time, buying sufficient food items as well as monitoring monthly expenses. Additionally, it instills the ideology of hard work, dedication as well as the skills to adapt to survive. On the contrary, sometimes a person would get distracted or deviate to an alternative path. For instance, an individual might be lured to the accessibility of the job and thus giving less attention to studies. In addition to this, the salaries are not sufficient enough, and also the energy and time taken could be exhausting and tedious thus render their concentration. Alternatively, it all can be managed through proper planning. In conclusion, good things come through patience and perseverance, therefore, working alongside studies is a wise decision. After a thorough analysis of the subject, it is clear that there are a few drawbacks to this, but if an individual has the skills required to balance work and study, there would be no harm in acquiring a part-time job.
Education is an integral part of our society.
Therefore
, numerous
individuals
dedicate an ample amount of their time towards education.
Moreover
, certain students consider working part-time while studying in institutions.
Hence
, it
certainly
is a benefit to the students. In this essay, we shall discuss this topic
further
.

Everything has a price, and the cost of education is
extremely
expensive these days,
so
most
people
cannot afford it.
However
,
many
individuals
take loans in order to pay their tuition fees.
Moreover
, managing the daily expenses such as rent, transportation and food require extra money and
thus
many
students prefer to work part-time to handle these payments.
Furthermore
, by working it incorporates responsibility
as well
as punctuality in their schedules.
For example
, they learn about the
basic necessities
that are to
be done
like paying rent and bills on time, buying sufficient food items
as well
as monitoring monthly expenses.
Additionally
, it instills the ideology of
hard
work, dedication
as well
as the
skills
to adapt to survive.

On the contrary
,
sometimes
a person would
get
distracted or deviate to an alternative path.
For instance
, an
individual
might
be lured
to the accessibility of the job and
thus
giving less attention to studies.
In addition
to this, the salaries are not sufficient
enough
, and
also
the energy and time taken could be exhausting and tedious
thus
render their concentration.
Alternatively
, it all can
be managed
through proper planning.

In conclusion
,
good
things
come
through patience and perseverance,
therefore
, working alongside studies is a wise decision. After a thorough analysis of the subject, it is
clear
that there are a few drawbacks to this,
but
if an
individual
has the
skills
required to balance work and study, there would be no harm in acquiring a part-time job.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay 2020-01-11: Task 2 Many students take part-time jobs while studying in the universities. Is this a bad or good idea? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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