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Some people think that all university student should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science an technology. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that all university student should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science an technology. v. 1
These days, the question of whether students should be learned subjects that they enjoy or only studying ones useful in the future has been receiving a great deal of public attention. While there will bring benefits to students if they are approached with science and technology, I would argue that studying subjects based on their abilities offer more better. On the one hand, there are some benefits from study subjects that related to students' career. Firstly, since labour market today is incredibly competitive, which require each candidate have to specialize knowledge and outstanding performance in science and cutting-edge technologies. Therefore, if students study hardly and concentrate on compulsory subjects in curriculum program, they will have countless opportunities when jobs hunting and get a handsome salary to enhance their standard of living. Secondly, by grasping a huge of knowledge, which students may not their hobbies, students may contribute to social development. In fact, many fields are developed base of basic science, such as math, physic, and chemistry. If students work in an environment without this knowledge, the flourish of the nation will be seriously affected, and difficult to international integration, especially in globalization context. On the other hand, I agree with those who argue that students should be allowed to study subjects which suit with their hobbies. One of the reasons is that, if students were studied with their passionate, they are likely to pay more attention in lessons to get more done. Thus, it is easy for them to grasp knowledge. For example, according studies on reputable journals, the efficiency in academic performance of students who have longing research, their results are higher than that of those are forced. Furthermore, nobody can really predict which areas will dominating or useful in the future. Instate of studying subjects are not the students' forte, they should be liberty learned, depending on their abilities to boost their creative thinking and cognitive development. Thus, if society context change, students can integrate and adapt to the new environment. In conclusion, while studying the useful subjects related to jobs in further shown some benefits, it seems to me that the advantages of interest based learning is more appropriate.
These days,
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
the question of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be learned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that they enjoy or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
Did you mean "one's"?
ones
useful in the future has been receiving a great deal of public attention. While there will bring benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
if they
are approached
with science and technology, I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
based on their abilities offer
Use only "better" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more better
.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that related to students' career.
Firstly
, since
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
market
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
is
incredibly
competitive, which require each candidate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
specialize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and outstanding performance in science and cutting-edge technologies.
Therefore
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
The adverb 'hardly' is usually put before the verb 'study'.
study hardly
and concentrate on compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in curriculum program, they will have countless opportunities when jobs hunting and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a handsome salary to enhance their standard of living.
Secondly
, by grasping
The phrase 'a huge of' is not correct. Use a noun, not an adjective, between 'a' and 'of'.
a huge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may not their hobbies,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
may contribute to social development. In fact,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields
are developed
base of basic science, such as math, physic, and chemistry. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
work in an environment without this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
, the flourish of the nation will be
seriously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
, and difficult to international integration,
especially
in globalization context.

On the other hand
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
which suit with their hobbies. One of the reasons is that, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
were studied
with their passionate, they are likely to pay more attention in lessons to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
more done.
Thus
, it is easy for them to grasp
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
.
For example
, according
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
on reputable journals, the efficiency in academic performance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who have longing research, their results are higher than that of those
are forced
.
Furthermore
, nobody can
really
predict which areas will dominating or useful in the future. Instate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are not the students' forte, they should be liberty learned, depending on their abilities to boost their creative thinking and cognitive development.
Thus
, if society context
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can integrate and adapt to the new environment.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
the useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
related to jobs in
further
shown
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits, it seems to me that the advantages of interest based learning is more appropriate.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that all university student should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science an technology. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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