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Eating a balanced diet is the most important factor for a healthy life. To what extend do you agree? v.4

Eating a balanced diet is the most important factor for a healthy life. v. 4
There is a tendency to believe that following a healthy eating pattern would result in a healthful life. Although, in my opinion, being healthy, as the most fundamental requirement in everyone's life, cover the wide variety of prerequisites that eating habit is just one of them. This essay will discuss this topic and introduce some other main factors of a healthful life. First of all, it should be said that " being healthy " is a multidimensional quality which include both physical and mental aspects with a close mutual coordination. In fact, paying attention to just one of them, not only would not necessarily lead to overall health, but also may undermine the other involved factors. For example, there are numerous cases who put their healthy diet on their top priority, but neglect their unhealthy and destructive living environment. As a result, they may suffer from psychological issues such as depression or even low self-esteem. Therefore, putting emphasize on both body and mind well-being is the best efficient solution in order to be healthy. Moreover, having a healthful body will achieve through a combination of several contributing factors. For instance, doing at least 30 minutes regular physical activity into our daily routines, beside monitoring our foods, will have a more desired outcome compare to just eating healthy. In other words, doing exercise not only keep us fit and prevent obesity, but also reduce the risk of many diseases such heart attack. In conclusion, in spite of the importance of having a healthful diet, adhere to physical activity and our mental wellbeing are two other significant parameters in order to live healthy. In my perspective, the best coordination of our body organs will occur through this way.
There is a tendency to believe that following a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
eating pattern would result in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthful
life. Although, in my opinion, being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
, as the most fundamental requirement in everyone's life, cover the wide variety of prerequisites that eating habit is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one of them. This essay will discuss this topic and introduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
main factors of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthful
life.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it should
be said
that
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
Don't put a space on both sides of a quote symbol
"
is a multidimensional quality which include both physical and mental aspects with a close mutual coordination. In fact, paying attention to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
one of them, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
would not
necessarily
lead to
overall
health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
may undermine the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
involved factors.
For example
, there are numerous cases who put their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
diet on their top priority,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
neglect their unhealthy and destructive living environment.
As a result
, they may suffer from psychological issues such as depression or even low self-esteem.
Therefore
, putting emphasize on both body and mind well-being is the best efficient solution in order to be healthy.

Moreover
, having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthful
body will achieve through a combination of several contributing factors.
For instance
, doing at least 30 minutes regular physical activity into our daily routines, beside monitoring our foods, will have a more desired outcome compare to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
eating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, doing exercise not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
us fit and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
obesity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
diseases such heart attack.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the importance of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthful
diet, adhere to physical activity and our mental
Possible spelling mistake found.
wellbeing
are two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
significant parameters in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
healthy
.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
my perspective, the best coordination of our body organs will occur through this way.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Eating a balanced diet is the most important factor for a healthy life. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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