Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

2. Which of the following statements do your agree with? Please give specific reasons for your opinion. Some believe that TV programs have a positive influence on modern society. Others, however, think that the influence of TV programs is negative. v.1

2. Which of the following statements do your agree with? Please give specific reasons for your opinion. Some believe that TV programs have a positive influence on modern society. Others, however, think that the influence of TV programs is negative. v. 1
Primary level in an education system is one of the vital stages, expecting a child to learn the basics of every subject. School subjects help in future to get a better job, however music and art are important too. In my perspective, I believe that all subjects are important at this level to develop a child as a skilled and a responsible citizen. On the one hand, schools and colleges add Mathematics, English, Science and Economy in their curriculum, considering the future job opportunities for an individual. For example, the person who will have the detailed knowledge in such subjects, will have a definite chance to get a well paid job. Parents are more concerned about this topic, they also want their children to learn such technical subjects rather than artistic subjects. It is also observed that, while recruiting new employees the companies put criteria of minimum grades in these subjects. Children are often pressurized to learn mathematics and science, and some studies show that this may lead to monotonous routine and potentially they may lose interest in their studies. On the other hand, studying artistic subjects is never encouraged. People often see those as an entertainment and expect few people, others will give them a low priority. Artistic subjects bring happiness and enthusiasm in life, because it is a food for the soul. A person who invests some time daily in extra-curricular activities seems to be more active and positive. Nowadays, we see a person can also build a strong career in this field and is able to earn a handsome salary. To conclude, I think that music, art and drama are equally important in everyone's life and of course, is essential at primary level in an education system. This will allow a child to choose a career of his/her choice and also will keep him or her mentally happy, healthy and balanced.
Primary level in an education system is one of the vital stages, expecting a child to learn the basics of every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
. School
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in future to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a better job,
however
music and art are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
too. In my perspective, I believe that all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
at this level to develop a child as a skilled and a responsible citizen.

On the one hand, schools and colleges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
Mathematics, English, Science and Economy in their curriculum, considering the future job opportunities for an individual.
For example
, the person who will have the detailed knowledge in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, will have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a well paid job. Parents are more concerned about this topic, they
also
want their children to learn such technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
rather
than artistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. It is
also
observed that, while recruiting new employees the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
put criteria of minimum grades in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. Children are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
pressurized to learn mathematics and science, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
studies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that this may lead to monotonous routine and
potentially
they may lose interest in their studies.

On the other hand
, studying artistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
is never encouraged.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
those as an entertainment and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
few
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, others will give them a low priority. Artistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
bring happiness and enthusiasm in life,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "food".
a food
for the soul. A person who invests
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
time daily in extra-curricular activities seems to be more active and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
. Nowadays, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a person can
also
build a strong career in this field and is able to earn a handsome salary.

To conclude
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that music, art and drama are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in everyone's life and
of course
, is essential at primary level in an education system. This will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
a child to choose a career of his/her choice and
also
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
him or her mentally happy, healthy and balanced.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 2. Which of the following statements do your agree with? Please give specific reasons for your opinion. Some believe that TV programs have a positive influence on modern society. Others, however, think that the influence of TV programs is negative. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts