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1. Describe a time you needed to use imaginationYou should say: what the situation was; why you needed to use imagination; what the difficulties were; and explain how you felt about it. v.1

1. Describe a time you needed to use imaginationYou should say: what the situation was; why you needed to use imagination; what the difficulties were; and explain how you felt about it. v. 1
In the past decades, both western and eastern societies have been witnessing that an increasing rate of criminal conducts accompanying with upgraded violent level. This essay will identify several root reasons for this phenomenon and then put forward some plausible solutions. To begin with, soaring numbers of crimes and the seriousness of violent may be stem from two obvious reasons. Firstly, there is ample evidence that numerous scenes, including the element of horror, blood, and killing have stimulated audience from TV to theatre, some of whom are young adults, easily influenced residents and underage children in some cases. The power of the screen could possibly form a person’s value towards the world and his personal behaviour. For example, An extensive study by Washington University showed that 40% of criminal aged from 18-25 agree that committing something unlawful makes them feel cool like a character in a movie they ever seen. Moreover, as social media has prevailed recent years, all the rich and famous showcasing their privileged life have strengthened the gap of different social status, which attributes the bottom class of the society to resent disparity of society. When they encounter financial struggles, it might be easier for them to hurt innocent people more to revenge and release their fury. Furthermore, according to the above two reasons, it is undeniable that we should take actions to mitigate this dangerous problem. Primarily, for government and local councils, raising citizen’s awareness to develop and build a healthy mental health should be realized through different campaigns and educational program in communities. Secondly, in a country like Canada, the death penalty should be strongly and frequently debated and discussed by the legal department, police force, and public in order to introduce into a new civil law. At the same time, the discussion could serve as a deterrent for potential law violators and juvenile offenders in the future. In conclusion, upgrading crime level and numbers could be attributed to TV and movie negative implication and social media exposure of the huge gap of society disparity, whereas we could hold more campaign and introduce the death penalty to solve this problem gradually.
In the past decades, both western and eastern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
have been witnessing that an increasing rate of criminal conducts
The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompanying by".
accompanying with
upgraded violent level. This essay will identify several root reasons for this phenomenon and then put forward
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
plausible solutions.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, soaring numbers of crimes and the seriousness of violent may be
Consider using a past participle here: "stemmed".
stem
from two obvious reasons.
Firstly
, there is ample evidence that numerous scenes, including the element of horror, blood, and killing have stimulated audience from TV to
Possible spelling mistake. 'theatre' is British English.
theatre
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of whom are young adults,
easily
influenced residents and underage children in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases. The power of the screen could
possibly
form a person’s value towards the world and his personal
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.
For example
, An extensive study by Washington University
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that 40% of criminal aged from 18-25
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that committing something unlawful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them feel cool like a character in a movie they ever
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
.
Moreover
, as social media has prevailed recent years, all the rich and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
showcasing their privileged life have strengthened the gap of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
social status, which attributes the bottom
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
to resent disparity of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. When they encounter financial struggles, it might be easier for them to hurt innocent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
more to revenge and release their fury.

Furthermore
, according to the above two reasons, it is undeniable that we should take actions to mitigate this
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
problem.
Primarily
, for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and local councils, raising citizen’s awareness to develop and build a healthy mental health should
be realized
through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
campaigns and educational program in communities.
Secondly
, in a country like Canada, the death penalty should be
strongly
and
frequently
debated and discussed by the legal department, police force, and public in order to introduce into a new civil law. At the same time, the discussion could serve as a deterrent for potential law violators and juvenile offenders in the future.

In conclusion
, upgrading crime level and numbers could
be attributed
to TV and movie
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
implication and social media exposure of the huge gap of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
disparity, whereas we could hold more campaign and introduce the death penalty to solve this problem
gradually
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 1. Describe a time you needed to use imaginationYou should say: what the situation was; why you needed to use imagination; what the difficulties were; and explain how you felt about it. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
356 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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