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1930 first Describe a present which you very much enjoyed receiving. you should saywhat is waswho gave it to youwhat the occasion wasand explain why you were so pleased to receive it v.1

1930 first Describe a present which you very much enjoyed receiving. you should saywhat is waswho gave it to youwhat the occasion wasand explain why you were so pleased to receive it v. 1
The attitude of the people towards the utilization of products has changed drastically. The products which were exploited properly before few decades, now they turn into disposable goods, which creates many problems in the environment. As per my opinion, the possible reasons and the problems related to the notion are given in following paragraphs. To begin with, the main reason behind the increasing number of disposable items is the growth in the income of an individual. This factor encourages a person to fulfil his desires to get possession of as many things as possible. Hence, he cannot utilize all his products and it might get thrown away shortly. For instance, the advancement in the smart phones is done very rapidly; likewise, the people having healthy income purchases new phones to maintain their possession power in society and old phones become disposable, although they are in good condition. Moreover, the availability of goods at any everywhere with an affordable price encourages the people to consume it extensively. Hence, the importance of product is not major concern for the consumer. On the other hand, the single used products, creating many problems to an individual and the environment both. Firstly, many products are manufactured by using scares resources, therefore their misuse leads to future shortage of the product. Secondly, the detrimental effects on the environment caused by the increasing amount of wastage of the single used products. For example, the use of fossil fuel generates carbon footprints to the environment, as a result greenhouse effect is the biggest challenge to the human being. Thus, the attitude of the people towards consumption of goods could endanger the society as well as an individual. In conclusion, using the items for short duration brings many difficulties to everyone. The awareness regarding to utilization of products must be brought to everyone by the government for better and safe future.
The attitude of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards the utilization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
drastically
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which
were exploited
properly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
few decades,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
they turn into disposable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
, which creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. As per my opinion, the possible reasons and the problems related to the notion are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
in following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the main reason behind the increasing number of disposable items is the growth in the income of an individual. This factor encourages a person to fulfil his desires to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
possession of as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things as possible.
Hence
, he cannot utilize all his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and it might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
thrown away shortly.
For instance
, the advancement in the smart phones
is done
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rapidly
;
likewise
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
having healthy income
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchases
new phones to maintain their possession power in society and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
phones become disposable, although they are in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
condition.
Moreover
, the availability of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
at any everywhere with an affordable price encourages the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to consume it
extensively
.
Hence
, the importance of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is not major concern for the consumer.

On the other hand
, the single
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, creating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems to an individual and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
both.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are manufactured
by using scares resources,
therefore
their misuse leads to future shortage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
.
Secondly
, the detrimental effects on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
caused by the increasing amount of wastage of the single
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For example
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of fossil fuel generates carbon footprints to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
,
as a result
greenhouse effect is the biggest challenge to the human being.
Thus
, the attitude of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
towards consumption of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
could endanger the society
as well
as an individual.

In conclusion
, using the items for short duration brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
difficulties to everyone. The awareness
The phrase 'regarding to' is not correct. Use "regarding" or "regard to".
regarding to
utilization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be brought
to everyone by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
for better and safe future.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 1930 first Describe a present which you very much enjoyed receiving. you should saywhat is waswho gave it to youwhat the occasion wasand explain why you were so pleased to receive it v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
312 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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