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15. Some students try to do moderate amounts of homework on a daily basis. Othersprefer to get their homework done in one go over 1-2 days. Which do you prefer? v.1

15. Some students try to do moderate amounts of homework on a daily basis. Othersprefer to get their homework done in one go over 1-2 days. Which do you prefer? v. 1
Nowadays, advertising has become a crucial part of every business. Many well-known sports personalities advertise various sports-related products. There are a couple of benefits such as an increase in employment and children involving active lifestyle, but there are also drawbacks to be taken into consideration. To begin with, one principal advantage of famous sports people advertising a sports-related product is it helps in creating jobs. Many people purchase products that are endorsed by their favourite sports person, which helps to increase the sale, thereby, generating employment. For example, MRF is endorsed by the famous Indian cricket personality, Virat Kholi, which has helped the company to increase its sale of cricket bats by 25% and employment by 32%. Another advantage of brands getting endorsed by well-known sports people is it encourages children to indulge active lifestyle. Sports star normally advertises products by playing their game or showing their skills, which encourages children to imitate or learn the same skills by playing the desired game; thereby, avoiding a sedentary lifestyle. Overall, it helps to generate enough jobs and appeal to youths to adopt an active and healthy lifestyle. On the other hand, one problem that can arise by sports players advertising sport-related products is it put undue pressure on parents. Children force their parents to buy the desired product by seeing their star endorsing the same, which forces parents to divide the unplanned budget to satisfy children's needs. For instance, according to a recent poll, 47% of parents complained that they need to spend 10% of their unplanned expenses on sports-related products to satisfy their children's demand. Another problem that can arise is that products get expensive due to being endorsed by a celebrity. As a huge chunk of money has to be paid to celebrity, the cost is recovered from the price of the product, making it expensive. Therefore, pressure on parents and an increase in the cost of the product are a couple of disadvantages that result from celebrity endorsing sports products. To conclude, the brands getting advertised by elegant sports personalities can result in a couple of benefits, but forceful pressure on parents to buy the desired products and increase in the cost are some disadvantages that can occur.
Nowadays, advertising has become a crucial part of every business.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
personalities advertise various sports-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. There are a couple of benefits such as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in employment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
involving active lifestyle,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
there are
also
drawbacks to
be taken
into consideration.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, one principal advantage of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
advertising a sports-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
is it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in creating jobs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
that are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endorsed
by their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
person, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
the sale, thereby, generating employment.
For example
, MRF is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endorsed
by the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Indian cricket personality,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Virat
Possible spelling mistake found.
Kholi
, which has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
its sale of cricket bats by 25% and employment by 32%. Another advantage of brands getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endorsed
by well-known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
it encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to indulge active lifestyle.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
star
normally
advertises
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
by playing their game or showing their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which encourages
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to imitate or learn the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
by playing the desired game; thereby, avoiding a sedentary lifestyle.
Overall
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to generate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
jobs and appeal to youths to adopt an active and healthy lifestyle.

On the other hand
, one problem that can arise by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
players advertising sport-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
is it put undue pressure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
force their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
by seeing their star endorsing the same, which forces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to divide the unplanned budget to satisfy children's needs.
For instance
, according to a recent poll, 47% of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
complained that they need to spend 10% of their unplanned expenses on sports-related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to satisfy their children's demand. Another problem that can arise is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
expensive due to being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
endorsed
by a celebrity. As a huge chunk of money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be paid
to celebrity, the cost
is recovered
from the price of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
, making it expensive.
Therefore
, pressure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the cost of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
are a couple of disadvantages that result from celebrity endorsing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
products.

To conclude
, the brands getting advertised by elegant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
personalities can result in a couple of benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
forceful pressure on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the desired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increase
in the cost are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages that can occur.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 15. Some students try to do moderate amounts of homework on a daily basis. Othersprefer to get their homework done in one go over 1-2 days. Which do you prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
370 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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