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1431Describe a place you know where people go to listen to musicYou should sayWhere it isWhat kind of music is performed thereWhat type of people go thereWhy people go thereHow you know this placeAnd explain your impression of this place v.1

1431Describe a place you know where people go to listen to musicYou should sayWhere it isWhat kind of music is performed thereWhat type of people go thereWhy people go thereHow you know this placeAnd explain your impression of this place v. 1
Technology has influenced every aspect of our life, including how we teach our children to read. Certain sections of the society believe that at the time of teaching a child, how to read only online reading materials should be used. However, others opine that only printed materials should be used for reading in the initial years. This essay intends to discuss both point-of-views before forming a conclusion. The people who believe that only digitally available materials should be used in the initial years of the child's education presents numerous arguments in their favour. To begin with. The volume of reading material available online is enormous, that too at very less cost. Because of this parents and teachers can choose the material, which ignites the most interest in children. Moreover, the reading material available virtually is very colourful and interactive, which helps in keeping juveniles engage in studies. On the other hand, the people, who advocates that only printed materials should be used while teaching children to read say that traditional printed books do not have side-effects. Physical reading mate6 do not cause health hazards such as sore eyes. Apart from that this method has withstood the test of time and has proven beneficial. To sum up, in today's technologically advanced era, online material has an edge over printed material. However, I believe that in order to teach and inculcate reading habit in our young one's, the proper mix of both methods that is online and offline materials should be used.
Technology has influenced every aspect of our life, including how we teach our children to read. Certain sections of the society believe that at the time of teaching a child, how to read
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
However
, others opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
in the initial years. This essay intends to discuss both point-of-views
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
forming a conclusion.

The
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
digitally
available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
in the initial years of the child's education presents numerous arguments in their
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with. The volume of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
is enormous, that too at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
less cost.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of
Did you mean "these"?
this
parents and teachers can choose the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
, which ignites the most interest in children.
Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
available
virtually
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Possible spelling mistake. 'colourful' is British English.
colourful
and interactive, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in keeping juveniles engage in studies.

On the other hand
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, who advocates that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
while teaching children to read say that traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
books do not have
Did you mean "side effects" (=adverse effect, unintended consequence)? Open compounds are not hyphenated.
side-effects
. Physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
mate6 do not cause health hazards such as sore eyes. Apart from that this method has withstood the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
test
of time and has proven beneficial.

To sum up, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's
technologically
advanced era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
has an edge over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
printed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
material
.
However
, I believe that in order to teach and inculcate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reading
habit in our young one's, the proper mix of both methods
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and offline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
materials
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 1431Describe a place you know where people go to listen to musicYou should sayWhere it isWhat kind of music is performed thereWhat type of people go thereWhy people go thereHow you know this placeAnd explain your impression of this place v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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