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Most students use the Internet to study. Some do research on the Internet. Some post questions or join discussion groups. What are the most useful ways for students to use the Internet? v.1

Most students use the Internet to study. Some do research on the Internet. Some post questions or join discussion groups. What are the most useful ways for students to use the Internet? v. 1
It is often argued that the sole reason for learning a non-native language by a person is for travelling either for a job or a vacation while others say that there must be more reasons besides the mentioned ones. This essay believes that a student who intends to go to a foreign country to study also needs to learn that country's language like Mandarine if he wants to study in China because it becomes easier to communicate within and outside the school. On the one hand, some people believe that a sense of competition motivates pupils to work harder. This is to say that, in order to get an ace in a class, students study hard and become target-oriented, and this practice will eventually become their habit, which makes them more successful in life. For example, a recent survey found that around 30% of Cambridge University students were a consistent topper in their elementary and secondary school; therefore, they believe that due to their habit of competition, they are studying in Cambridge today. On the other hand, a sense of cooperation enables children to become generous and caring. They always prefer to work in a team and considerate every team member's feelings by listening and helping them. Therefore, this practice will help young people to become more balanced adults. For instance, the American Heart and stroke foundation revealed in a recent survey that over 60% of volunteers are those who always encouraged to help others since they were a child. For this reason, this essay believes that with cooperation, an individual can not only excel in life but get respect from others. In conclusion, I believe although, it's essential to instill a sense of competition for the children, a spirit of cooperation is more helpful to make them a responsible human being as a whole.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that the sole reason for learning a non-native language by a person is for travelling either for a job or a vacation while others say that there
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be more reasons
besides
the mentioned ones. This essay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that a student who intends to go to a foreign country to study
also
needs to learn that country's language like
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mandarine
if he wants to study in China
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
becomes
easier to communicate within and outside the school.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that a sense of competition motivates pupils to work harder. This is to say that, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
an ace in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
, students study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
target-oriented, and this practice will
eventually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
their habit, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them more successful in life.
For example
, a recent survey found that around 30% of Cambridge University students were a consistent topper in their elementary and secondary school;
therefore
, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that due to their habit of competition, they are studying in Cambridge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.

On the other hand
, a sense of cooperation enables children to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
generous and caring. They always prefer to work in a team and considerate every team member's feelings by listening and helping them.
Therefore
, this practice will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
more balanced adults.
For instance
, the American Heart and stroke foundation revealed in a recent survey that over 60% of volunteers are those who always encouraged to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
others since they were a child.
For this reason
, this essay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that with cooperation, an individual can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
excel in life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
respect from others.

In conclusion
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
although, it's essential to instill a sense of competition for the children, a spirit of cooperation is more helpful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them a responsible human being as a whole.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
He who knows no foreign languages know nothing of his own.
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

IELTS essay Most students use the Internet to study. Some do research on the Internet. Some post questions or join discussion groups. What are the most useful ways for students to use the Internet? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
305 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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