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14. Describe a public area that you visit frequently. Please state why you visit itfrequently and include specific examples and details in your explanation. v.1

14. Describe a public area that you visit frequently. Please state why you visit itfrequently and include specific examples and details in your explanation. v. 1
In recent times, the similarities in the countries of the world are becoming popular. It is thought that this is due to the fact that people are able to purchase the same items wherever they are in the world. Should this be considered a positive or negative development? This essay will establish why this is overall a beneficial trend. To begin, some people think this change is not an healthy one. Their argument is that, such has eroded the peculiarity of each country. Unlike in the past, there are few countries known for certain products. China, initially a third world country, due to recent advances in technology, is now a leading producer of some brands of mobile phones. This was initially more popular in countries like, United States of America and Germany. Hence, the identity of nations in terms of product specification has been affected negatively. However, despite the perceived disadvantages, this is still overall a positive development. Firstly, the presence of foreign products improves a country's economy. As more international companies are available, they increase the nation's earnings from tax. For example, MTN, an international telecommunication company paid about 25 billion Naira valued added tax (VAT) to the Nigerian government in 2018. Secondly, less travelling is done to buy products abroad, thereby reducing the risks associated with these trips. In a recent survey, there was a drastic drop, from 75% to 25%, in the number of people travelling for international trade. So, the obvious benefits that come with this trend makes it a more of a blessing than a curse. In conclusion, despite a few demerits to the similarities in countries because of similar products, the merits far outweigh the demerits. I am of the opinion that this is a beneficial development, thus it should be encouraged.
In recent times, the similarities in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
of the world are becoming popular. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
that
this is due to the fact that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
the same items wherever they are in the world. Should this
be considered
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
development? This essay will establish why this is
overall
a beneficial trend.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is not
Use "a" instead of 'an' if the following word doesn't start with a vowel sound, e.g. 'a sentence', 'a university'
an
healthy one. Their argument is that, such has eroded the peculiarity of each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Unlike in the past, there are few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
known for certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. China,
initially
a third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
, due to recent advances in technology, is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
a leading producer of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
brands of mobile phones. This was
initially
more popular in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like, United States of America and Germany.
Hence
, the identity of nations in terms of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
specification has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
negatively
.

However
, despite the perceived disadvantages, this is
still
overall
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
development.
Firstly
, the presence of foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
a country's economy. As more international
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are available, they increase the nation's earnings from tax.
For example
, MTN, an international telecommunication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
paid about 25 billion
Possible agreement error. The noun 'Naira' seems to be countable, so consider using: "nairas".
Naira
valued
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
added
tax (VAT) to the Nigerian
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
in 2018.
Secondly
, less travelling
is done
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
abroad, thereby reducing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risks
associated with these trips. In a recent survey, there was a drastic drop, from 75% to 25%, in the number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
travelling for international trade.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the obvious benefits that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
with this trend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
it a more of a blessing than a curse.

In conclusion
, despite a few demerits to the similarities in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, the merits far outweigh the demerits. I am of the opinion that this is a beneficial development,
thus
it should
be encouraged
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 14. Describe a public area that you visit frequently. Please state why you visit itfrequently and include specific examples and details in your explanation. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
298 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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