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11. Some people like to stick to tasks they know they can do well. Others like to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer? v.1

11. Some people like to stick to tasks they know they can do well. Others like to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer? v. 1
Compulsory retirement is common in many countries when members of the workforce reach 65 or 70, and this has both pros and cons as will now be considered. The main advantage of requiring people to leave their job at a certain age is that it provides opportunities for younger members of staff to join the company, often meaning that the company benefits from having lower wages to pay for the new recruit and also having younger, potentially more dynamic employees. This in turn could well give the company the required boost to continue being profitable. Another advantage is that some older people may choose to keep working more out of habit than enjoyment, and therefore a mandatory retirement may encourage them to enjoy their life more, having the free time to engage in hobbies and interests such as gardening. Which they may not have previously had time for up to that point. Yet there are significant disadvantages in forced retirement. Older staff members often have more experience, and may have no desire to leave their job. Requiring them to leave could mean a skill shortage for the company as well as a feeling of discontent from the employee. Added to that is the rising number of older people and the subsequent drain on resources if they are not working, if there are more elderly people on pensions or other benefits, the increased tax burden falls on the younger generation. In conclusion, there are both social and economic benefits of allowing older people to remain in employment if so desired, so compulsory retirement would not be recommended.
Compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
is common in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries when members of the workforce reach 65 or 70, and this has both pros and cons as will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
be considered
.

The main advantage of requiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their job at a certain age is that it provides opportunities for younger members of staff to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
meaning that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
benefits from having lower wages to pay for the new recruit and
also
having younger,
potentially
more dynamic employees. This in turn could well give the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
the required boost to continue being profitable.

Another advantage is that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
working more out of habit than enjoyment, and
therefore
a mandatory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
may encourage them to enjoy their life more, having the free time to engage in hobbies and interests such as gardening. Which they may not have previously had time for up to that point.

Yet
there are significant disadvantages in forced
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Older
staff members
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
have more experience, and may have no desire to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
their job. Requiring them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
could mean a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
shortage for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
as well
as a feeling of discontent from the employee.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Added
to
that is
the rising number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the subsequent drain on resources if they are not working, if there are more elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
on pensions or other benefits, the increased tax burden falls on the younger generation.

In conclusion
, there are both social and economic benefits of allowing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to remain in employment if
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
desired,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
retirement
would not
be recommended
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay 11. Some people like to stick to tasks they know they can do well. Others like to try new things and take risks. Which do you prefer? v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
266 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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