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102. Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

102. Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
No one can deny that there are both positive and negative aspects of using machines or doing work by hand. If I were forced to choose, I would definitely prefer to use machines. It is my firm belief for a number of reasons, and I will develop these ideas in the subsequent paragraphs. First and foremost, machines do the work more productively. Although people made that machines, but they can do the work better than people. There are many types of machines, which help us to do the work easily. I have to admit that my opinion on this matter has been profoundly influenced by my own personal experience. You see, my father bought an electrical saw for me, because I was making wood boxes for florists. In that time and age I tested the waters, it was something new and unusual for me. I started made the boxes easily, therefore I spent less energy on it. As a result I constructed the boxes more productively, because all the boxes are ideal. For this reason I think that using machines is much more effective, than do it on your own. Secondly, by using machines you save a plenty of time. For instance if the man do the work in five minutes, the machine do the same work in three minutes. It is very significant to spend less time on such things, because today’s the most expensive thing is the time. We can buy everything, but time, never. Drawing from my own experience, when I was making the boxes, I was late for school every day. But after my father bought that electrical saw for me, I was always in time, furthermore, I climbed the corporate ladder of my own company. Moreover I spent more time on my lessons. It is certainly clear to see, how machines can help you to save time, and as we all know- the time is money. To make a long story short, in light of above mentioned reasons, I strongly believe that using machines is better, because it makes your job easier, and helps you to save time, which is the most important things in our days.
No one can deny that there are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
or doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
by hand. If I
were forced
to choose, I would definitely prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
. It is my firm belief for a number of reasons, and I will develop these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in the subsequent paragraphs.

First
and foremost,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
more
productively
. Although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
made that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they can do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
better than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us to do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
easily
. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit that my opinion on this matter has been
profoundly
influenced by my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
personal experience. You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, my father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
an electrical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
for me,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
I was making wood
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boxes
for florists. In that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and age I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tested
the waters, it was something new and unusual for me. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
made the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boxes
easily
,
therefore
I spent less energy on it.
As a result
I constructed the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boxes
more
productively
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boxes
are ideal.
For this reason
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
is much more effective, than do it on your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

Secondly
, by using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
you save a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
For instance
if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
do the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in five minutes, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machine
do the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in three minutes. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
significant to spend less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on such things,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s the most expensive thing is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. We can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
everything,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
The adverb 'never' is usually not used at the end of a sentence.
never
. Drawing from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience, when I was making the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
boxes
, I was late for school every day.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
after my father
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
that electrical
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
for me, I was always in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
furthermore
, I climbed the corporate ladder of my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
I spent more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on my lessons. It is
certainly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
, how
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and as we all know- the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is money.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a long story short, in light of above mentioned reasons, I
strongly
believe that using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machines
is better,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
your job easier, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
you to save
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, which is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things in our days.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
31Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay 102. Some people like doing work by hand. Others prefer using machines. Which do you prefer? Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
362 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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