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1. Some people think that when a person travels into a different culture, they should adapt to the local practices and customs. To what extent do you agree? v.1

1. Some people think that when a person travels into a different culture, they should adapt to the local practices and customs. v. 1
It is generally observed that people dwelling in urban areas undergo limited physical and strength building exercises. This essay will first discuss the reasons behind this alarming trend: mainly, limited time and space; followed by a discussion on a feasible solution to curb this issue. While looking into the main causes of this dilemma: time constraints, one of the major issues faced by city dwellers, cannot be ignored. In other words, their extremely demanding work requirements deprives them of the time to engage in physical exertion. The few hours left after executing their official work are spent either in fulfilling personal commitments or with with friends and family. Consequently, while trying to attain a balance between their work and personal life, they fail to devote any time for physical fitness and training. Moreover, lack of open space, such as grounds and open air parks, is another contributor of negligence towards physical health. Sadly, with increase in population rate in urban areas, city development authorities have started giving more importance to urbanization with limited resources for grounds and parks. How would such environment facilitate people to engage in physical exercises? The answer lies in finding a solution to control this decline in physical exertion and training. Primarily, offices should introduce some sessions for employees to engage in physical exercises, such as running or cycling. Likewise, each office should reserve separate physical exercise areas to promote this trend; this can be achieved by reserving either a ground or allocating areas for gymnasiums. To conclude, limited space or time may result in inadequate exercise level among people residing in cities. However, government and private organizations can play their part in curbing this trend. I am confident, that people understand the importance of these exercises and a few reforms can transform the entire scenario.
It is
generally
observed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
dwelling in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
undergo
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
and strength building
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
. This essay will
first
discuss the reasons behind this alarming trend:
mainly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and space; followed by a discussion on a feasible solution to curb this issue.

While looking into the main causes of this dilemma:
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
constraints, one of the major issues faced by city dwellers, cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.
In other words
, their
extremely
demanding work requirements deprives them of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exertion. The few hours
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
after executing their official work
are spent
either in fulfilling personal commitments or
Possible typo: you repeated a word
with with
friends and family.
Consequently
, while trying to attain a balance between their work and personal life, they fail to devote any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
fitness and training.

Moreover
, lack of open space, such as grounds and open air parks, is another contributor of negligence towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
health.
Sadly
, with increase in population rate in urban
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
, city development authorities have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
giving more importance to urbanization with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
resources for grounds and parks. How would such environment facilitate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exercises?

The answer lies in finding a solution to control this decline in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
exertion and training.
Primarily
, offices should introduce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sessions for employees to engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
, such as running or cycling.
Likewise
, each office should reserve separate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
to promote this trend; this can
be achieved
by reserving either a ground or allocating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
for gymnasiums.

To conclude
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
limited
space or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
may result in inadequate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercise
level among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
residing in cities.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and private organizations can play their part in curbing this trend. I am confident, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
understand the importance of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exercises
and a few reforms can transform the entire scenario.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay 1. Some people think that when a person travels into a different culture, they should adapt to the local practices and customs. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
300 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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