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Some people think that when a person travels into a different culture they should adapt to the local practices and customs To what extent do you agree v.2

Some people think that when a person travels into a different culture they should adapt to the local practices and customs 2
In the modern era, it is believed that the old traditions of the humanity, love and affection are being replaced by the monetary and communal status, as markers of value of an individual. To a major extent I agree that wealth is deciding the standards of the individuals, but the old day customs still have some place. One reason for this shift seems that the life standard in these days depends on the belongings more than ever before. A person who is wealthy, keeps good house and vehicle and his children go to costlier schools. Resultantly, he gains attraction by the society. Moreover, he can handle the difficulties of the current times in an easier way compared to the one with lesser money. So, the savings are uplifting life standards which ultimately decide the social worth. For example, Malik Riaz is a present day prominent figure in Pakistan, while 20 years back he was never mentioned in any circle. Another cause in this regard is the social contribution of the wealthy persons. They give a lot of funds for the charities and local welfare activities and they make them prominent in various functions, while the kind hearted but money deprived individuals cannot afford to do that. Furthermore, such people support developmental works and organise political gatherings, which further elevate their level. Despite the advantages of the monetary stature, the past customs still have their place. Many people are still highly influenced by these traits and they follow the owners of these qualities. Although, with modern revolution, they are hardly coping the economically higher ones. In conclusion, presently, the money through elevation of life quality and communal contribution, is a decisive factor for someone's worth, but kind hearts, love and affection did not lose their role altogether. In my opinion, they will regain the space with time.
In the modern era, it
is believed
that the
old
traditions of the humanity,
love
and affection are
being replaced
by the monetary and communal status, as markers of value of an individual. To a major extent I
agree
that wealth is deciding the standards of the individuals,
but
the
old
day customs
still
have
some
place.

One reason for this shift seems that the life standard in these days depends on the belongings more than ever
before
. A person who is wealthy,
keeps
good
house
and vehicle and his children go to costlier schools.
Resultantly
, he gains attraction by the society.
Moreover
, he can handle the difficulties of the
current
times in an easier way compared to the one with lesser money.
So
, the savings are uplifting life standards which
ultimately
decide the social worth.
For example
, Malik
Riaz
is a present day prominent figure in Pakistan, while 20 years back he was never mentioned in any circle.

Another cause in this regard is the social contribution of the wealthy persons. They give
a lot of
funds for the charities and local welfare
activities and
they
make
them prominent in various functions, while the
kind hearted
but
money deprived individuals cannot afford to do that.
Furthermore
, such
people
support developmental works and
organise
political gatherings, which
further
elevate their level.

Despite the advantages of the monetary stature, the past customs
still
have their place.
Many
people
are
still
highly
influenced by these
traits and
they follow the owners of these qualities. Although, with modern revolution, they are hardly coping the
economically
higher ones.

In conclusion
,
presently
, the money through elevation of life quality and communal contribution, is a decisive factor for someone's worth,
but
kind hearts,
love
and affection did not lose their role altogether. In my opinion, they will regain the space with time.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that when a person travels into a different culture they should adapt to the local practices and customs 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
306 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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