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TPO-31Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past v.2

TPO-31 Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past v. 2
Changing is very common in any generation of the world; however, this rate is so high in this twentieth century. People are improving themselves by any means, and wanting to emulate each other. As a result, many people think that this changing helps them to be happy, but other think antithetically. As per as I concern, I would say that this fickleness of this time creates many problems which lead people to be unhappy. I think this way for several reasons which I will explain in the following essay. First of all, nowadays, people always desire to copy others and this is responsible for being unsatisfied all time. This trend was not present last century and this is very bad for the people who do not believe in themselves. If you look at any society, you will see this phenomenon occurring every place. This is because now people show up themselves in the social media like Facebook, Whats' up, and different blogs. As a result, people become frustrated when they show that his friends are doing better day by day even that is not true practically. So, they have to live an unhappy life. On the other hand, in the past people did not have any such medium to know about other and all worked for each other. As a result, they enjoyed their life very much. Secondly, we do not get enough time to spend with our family and this reason is also responsible for being unhappy now. People from the last generation was happier because had spent more effective time with time and enjoy visiting many places, and creating many new things altogether. Conversely, now we work the whole day to enhance our financial condition so that we can compare ourselves with others. And the rapid changing is the main reasons for it. We work hard till early in the morning to till midnight, yet we are not satisfied with our status and want more and more. As a result, we never manage time to look after our family which is one of the important places of our life. So, this apathy from family leads us to an unhappy life. It is clear; we need to be careful about the changing occur in the world so that this improving cannot hamper our happy life. Also, it is evident that people are less satisfied with themselves than the last century people. This is because they tend to emulate other and spend more time on improving their economic status, and this leads them to spend their whole life without enjoying life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Changing
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common in any generation of the world;
however
, this rate is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
high in this twentieth century.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are improving themselves by any means, and wanting to emulate each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to be happy,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
antithetically
. As per as I concern, I would say that this fickleness of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems which lead
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhappy
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
this way for several reasons which I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
in the following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
always desire to copy others and this is responsible for
being unsatisfied
all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. This trend was not present last century and this is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who do not believe in themselves. If you look at any society, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
this phenomenon occurring every place. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
up themselves in the social media like Facebook,
Possible spelling mistake found.
Whats&
#039; up, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
blogs. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become frustrated when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that his friends are doing better day by day even
that is
not true
practically
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhappy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, in the past
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
did not have any such medium to know about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and all worked for each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
, they enjoyed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much.

Secondly
, we do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to spend with our family and this reason is
also
responsible for being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhappy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
from the last generation was happier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
had spent more effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and enjoy visiting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
places, and creating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
new things altogether.
Conversely
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we work the whole day to enhance our financial condition
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we can compare ourselves with others. And the rapid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
is the main reasons for it. We work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
till early in the morning to till midnight,
yet
we are not satisfied with our status and want more and more. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
, we never manage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to look after our family which is one of the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
places of our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, this apathy from family leads us to an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhappy
life.

It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
; we need to be careful about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
changing
occur in the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that this improving cannot hamper our happy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Also
, it is evident that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are less satisfied with themselves than the last century
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they tend to emulate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
and spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on improving their economic status, and this leads them to spend their whole
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
without enjoying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
42Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO-31 Because the world is changing so quickly, people now are less happy or less satisfied with their lives than people were in the past v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
431 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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