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#1 If friends from another country were going to spend time in your country, what cityor place would you suggest they visit? Using details and examples, explain why. v.1

#1 If friends from another country were going to spend time in your country, what cityor place would you suggest they visit? Using details and examples, explain why. v. 1
There is a book by the name of ‘paradoxes of choices’ which notices the different choices we can select in our daily routine. As same as the book, I agree with the statement that people have lots of selections these days, although it can be wrong in some cases. In this essay the different ideas about the subject will be discussed. On one side, everybody expects to find their interests considering the diversity of products. Various manufacturers try to cover numerous tastes of human by their products so, it can help to find the one which fits for everyone. In addition to that, wide range of cultures obligates producers to find suitable choices for each society separately. Religions, for instance, somehow are the cause of selecting the clothes in different countries. Therefore, people can find what appropriate for their manners when there are several selections available. On the other side, sometimes designers think closely to each other so it is true that some people believe that they do not enough choices. Consider cell phones today and compare their designs with 10 years ago. At that time there were round, square, and even triangle shapes, although it changes to rectangular full touch screen mobiles which are totally the same today. Thus, we cannot in some cases factories force us to change our tastes by producing similar products. To summarize, if we try to find various choices around us, it can be confusing to select one of them. However, by thinking deeper on this issue will depict us that there are not various choices in everything. People should know their real needs and search for the aspect which are vital for finding the best one.
There is a book by the name of ‘paradoxes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices’
which notices the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
we can select in our daily routine. As same as the book, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have lots of selections these days, although it can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases. In this essay the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
about the subject will
be discussed
.

On one side, everybody
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expects
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
their interests considering the diversity of products. Various manufacturers try to cover numerous tastes of human by their products
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, it can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
the one which fits for everyone.
In addition
to that, wide range of cultures obligates producers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
suitable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
for each society
separately
. Religions,
for instance
, somehow are the cause of selecting the clothes in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
what appropriate for their manners when there are several selections available.

On the other side,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
designers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
closely
to each other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is true that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
. Consider cell phones
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
and compare their designs with 10 years ago. At that time there were round, square, and even triangle shapes, although it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to rectangular full touch screen mobiles which are
totally
the same
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
.
Thus
, we cannot in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases factories force us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our tastes by producing similar products.

To summarize
, if we try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
around us, it can be confusing to select one of them.
However
, by thinking deeper on this issue will depict us that there are not various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choices
in everything.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
should know their real needs and search for the aspect which are vital for finding the best one.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay #1 If friends from another country were going to spend time in your country, what cityor place would you suggest they visit? Using details and examples, explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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